Settling with a burp :PI often wonder why us humans need closure for everything. Life would be so much easier if we didn't need closure. Why is it so painful when a relationship ends abruptly or does not turn out the way we expected?
We seem to need closure as much as a baby needs to be burped. After a nice bonding time, whether that comforting milk turned sour or not, it won't sit well in the the stomach unless babies are burped. As we grow older, it seems like that need to be burped follows us all the way to our relationships...When we end a relationship with someone, the pain of losing that person does not sit well unless we throw up everything we need to say or resolve with that person, or settle with a pacific and satisfying "burp". (ok, I admit, this burping analogy is more than far fetched...but since I try to remain in a somewhat "food" theme...and of course, newborn care is so on my mind these days.... :P).
What is closure to you? We all want something different. To me, closure is when both people know why it has ended. There are no more questions to be asked and there isn't anything left to say. It is when you are comfortable as to how things ended and whether it hurts or not, you know the reason and understand it. To others, closure is leaving on good terms. I guess it all depends on the type of relationship you had with that person.
Do we ever have full closure though? Even when we end up confronting that person? So maybe in the end, we shouldn't need it so much. Everyone I know who are in pain (including me with some relationships) is because of that need for closure. I am getting better at learning to let go but it may take a lifetime to learn to be zen and really focus all my energy on more productive and enriching things. Closure is only great when both sides cooperate, but we cannot hold on to that need forever if it doesn't get resolved. We must find a way to let go and move on with our lives.
"You cannot reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk".
I hope this quote inspired you. :)
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