The Benefits of Eating Together

The Family Who Eats Together Stays Together

-- By Becky Hand, Licensed & Registered Dietician

"Come and get it!" It may be dinnertime, but when was the last time your family sat down and enjoyed a mealtogether? With music lessons, ball practice, play rehearsal, and work schedules, it can be tough. Rounding up the troops for an evening meal can be almost impossible! However, research is beginning to show that eating as a family has great benefits for your children and teenagers. Here are 8 more reasons why you should try to sit down together 5-6 times a week, whether for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Reason #1: Communication and Well-Being

Conversations during the meal provide opportunities for the family to bond, plan, connect, and learn from one another. It’s a chance to share information and news of the day, as well as give extra attention to your children and teens. Family meals foster warmth, security and love, as well as feelings of belonging. It can be a unifying experience for all.

Reason #2: Model Manners (and more)

Family mealtime is the perfect opportunity to display appropriate table manners, meal etiquette, and social skills. Keep the mood light, relaxed, and loving. Try not to instruct or criticize—lead by example.

Reason # 3: Expand Their World…One Food at a Time

Encourage your children to try new foods, without forcing, coercing, or bribing. Introduce a new food along with some of the stand-by favorites. Remember that it can take 8-10 exposures to a new food before it is accepted, so be patient. Trying a new food is like starting a new hobby. It expands your child’s knowledge, experience, and skill.

• Include foods from other cultures and countries.
• Select a new vegetable from a local farmer’s market.
• Have your child select a new recipe from a cookbook, web site, newspaper, magazine or check out the recipes on SparkPeople.

Reason #4: Nourish

Meals prepared and eaten at home are usually more nutritious and healthy. They contain more fruits, vegetables, and dairy products along with additional nutrients such as fiber, calcium, vitamins A and C, and folate. Home cooked meals are usually not fried or highly salted, plus soda and sweetened beverage consumption is usually lower at the dinner table.

Reason #5: Become Self-Sufficient

Children today are missing out on the importance of knowing how to plan and prepare meals. Basic cooking, baking, and food preparation are necessities for being self-sufficient. Involve your family in menu planning, grocery shopping, and food preparation. Preschoolers can tear lettuce, cut bananas, and set the table. Older children can pour milk, peel vegetables, and mix batter. Teenagers can dice, chop, bake, and grill. Working as a team puts the meal on the table faster, as well as makes everyone more responsible and accepting of the outcome. Improved eating habits come with "ownership" of a meal.

Reason #6: Prevent Destructive Behaviors

Research shows that frequent family dinners (five or more a week), are associated with lower rates of smoking, drinking, and illegal drug use in pre-teens and teenagers when compared to families that eat together two or fewer times per week. Even as older children’s schedules get more complicated, it is important to make an effort to eat meals together. Scheduling is a must.

Reason #7: Improve Grades

Children do better in school when they eat more meals with their parents and family. Teenagers who eat dinner four or more times per week with their families have higher academic performance compared with teenagers who eat with their families two or fewer times per week.

Reason # 8: Save Money

Meals purchased away from home cost two to four times more than meals prepared at home. At present time the restaurant industry’s share of the total food dollar is more than 46%. Due to scheduling, commitments, and activities, families eat out several times each week. It is time to bring the "family" back to the dinner table. Sharing dinner together gives everyone a sense of identity. It can help ease day-to-day conflicts, as well as establish traditions and memories that can last a lifetime.

Deep Fried Crickets and Pierogi ♥♥♥

My childhood would not have been the same without my dear friend Christine. We spent most our innocent years in the outdoors, catching bugs, tadpoles and building tree houses in the field behind her house. Her cocker spaniel Lady would pull us in the winter, while we had our skis on (we were very tiny still, do not worry). It was a lot of fun!

It all started with a marble game in the driveway. Christine and I exchanged marbles, and then later on, toys and stickers, and we have been very close friends since. Twenty-five years of great friendship already, and what's amazing is that our kids are the same age and hopefully will become great friends as well.

Christine was such a crafty kid and used to sew clothes for her dolls, make bracelets and plenty of wonderful salty dough sculptures. I learned a lot from her that's for sure. I loved tasting new Polish dishes at her house and I had my first Pierogi there. I also remember I had my first Brussel Sprout there as well and hated it, but at least I ate most of them. I just wished no one would notice I didn't like them when I left only one in my plate.

Christine has always been pretty adventurous with food. One day, my grandmother came back from a trip to Cambodia and brought back some deep fried crickets, a delicacy as scary to my entire family as it was to Christine. I guess my grandmother felt like shocking us with this exotic souvenir from her trip. Both Christine and I counted till three and popped a hopping critter in our mouths. A memory that is priceless in this long journey of wonderful friendship. I can't wait to have her and her daughter over this summer and watch our toddlers interact with each other. I love you Krysia! ♥ xoxoxo ♥

Mouth Watering :P

I'm not sure if I have already told you how much of a huge Joss Whedon fan I am. When I heard that he recommended this unknown actor, Chris Hemsworth to play the lead role in Thor, I knew I was in for a nice treat! Joss Whedon is responsible for the discovery of Nathan Fillion and David Boreanaz, who were also unknown before but both so talented and charismatic actors. I surely wasn't disappointed when my dear husband and I went to see Thor on a movie date night. Joss Whedon couldn't have recommended a better actor for this role. Chris Hemsworth has all the star quality to be catapulted to the A-list celebrity.

Out of all the Marvel heroes, Thor is the sexiest to me. He is also the first Marvel hero I would consider dating or even marrying. All the other ones have too much baggage, need for vengeance or have creepy mutant attributes. Thor embodies the ultimate classic female fantasy: a sexy fish out of water (like Tarzan or Mowgli from the Jungle Book), a little boy wanting to impress his father mixed with an impulsive, macho, alpha caveman who could just swoop you away. Yet he acts like a true gentleman and leader at the same time since he is a future king who has strong and godly super powers. Wow. Again, thank you Joss for this discovery. I totally understand why you picked him for this role. Looking forward to seeing more movies starring Chris Hemsworth. :)

The Rising Bun or should it be...The Rising Son :P

It is becoming more and more real. The timer on the oven says that I'm half way there already. Soon enough, I will be a mother of two boys. I will surely be busy.

I really look forward to see how the brothers will play and interact together. Even though it surely would have been nice to have a baby girl, to experience one of each, I am pretty relieved to be blessed with another little boy. Boys are surely fun. :)

Coming from a very traditional Cambodian family, I am even more relieved to have a second boy. My parents would have been so much on my case if I had a girl. They'd worry and criticize the way she dresses, what she's doing, where she's going, and who she is dating (since she should not even date AT ALL!). Growing up as a girl in my family was hard, with all its double standards. I know with two boys, I will have fewer unsolicited grand-parent interventions.

I love how my toddler seems to already grasp the notion of an upcoming baby brother. He likes to talk about the baby in the belly, calls him "baby Nathan belly" and puts food in my belly button to feed his brother. I can't wait to meet our second bundle of joy! :D

Not a Happy Meal....(an interesting read I stumbled upon)

9 DEVELOPMENTAL REASONS WHY TODDLERS CAN BE DIFFICULT TO DISCIPLINE

To cope with toddler behavior it helps to remember the basic principle of developmental discipline: the drive that babies have to develop is the same one that creates discipline challenges.

1. WHEELS TO RUN ON

Imagine how it must feel to learn to walk! He can see all those tempting delights around the room, and he finds ways to get his hands on many of them. once the developmental skill of walking appears, children have an intense drive to master it. So toddlers toddle—constantly. And they can toddle into unsafe situations. Walking progresses to running, and climbing a few stairs turns into scaling kitchen counters.

2. HANDS AS TOOLS

Along with learning how to pick up things, the one- year- old baby develops hand skills to manipulate what he gets. Doors are to be opened, knobs turned, drawers pulled, dangling cords yanked, and waste cans emptied. Everything within walking and grabbing distance is fair game, or so he figures. To the inquisitive adventurer, the whole house is an unexplored continent, and he intends to leave no stone unturned.

3. OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

The development of language—verbal and body— makes parenting a bit easier. Baby can now begin to tell you what she needs with words. This new skill is a mixed blessing. While baby words are entertaining, they can also be frustrating as the parents struggle to understand just what "da-boo" means. Toddlers like to try on different noises to hear how they sound and how they affect their audience. They screech and squeal, yell and jabber. Sometimes their little baby words are pleasing to your ears, and at other times they are nerve-wracking. Language also gives expression to feelings; a feisty "no" from your formerly agreeable child can raise your eyebrows.

4. A MIND OF THEIR OWN

Toddlers think, but not logically. Just as motor skills take off during the first half of the second year, toward the last half mental skills blossom. The one-year-old plunges impulsively into activities without much thinking. The two-year-old studies her environment, figuring out a course of action in her head before venturing forth with her body. But a baby's desire to do something often precedes the ability to do it successfully. This developmental quirk drives toddlers into trouble and caregivers to the brink. Even though you know that baby hasn't mastered a skill yet, your explanation won't stop him from trying. For example, one morning our son Stephen insisted on pouring his own juice. He had the ability to maneuver the cup and pitcher, but lacked the wisdom to know when the cup was full. He did not want us to pour it for him, so we let him stand at the sink and pour water into cups while we poured the juice at the table. After a pouring party at the sink, he accepted my hand on his hand and followed my nudge for when to stop pouring.

During the second year your baby's temperament will become more apparent. "Bubbly," "daredevil," "determined," "cautious," and "adventurous" are just a few of the labels toddlers acquire. Children come wired differently, and different kinds of children need different kinds of discipline. Matthew, a relatively cautious toddler, seemed to think out a task carefully before attempting it. If he got himself in too deep he would not protest being rescued. our two-year-old Lauren came wired with a different program. She sees an enticing gadget on top of the kitchen counter and she is willing to risk life and limb to get it. Because of her personality, we don't often let her out of our sight. Her drive helps her keep going, to get up after falling, to persist after being told "no," to struggle with words to make her needs known. It also inspires her to climb higher if the cookie jar has been promoted to the top shelf. The parents' task, in the words of one frazzled toddler manager, is to "keep my child from breaking his neck, and yet encourage him to learn." Think "age-appropriate behavior" and you'll be able to give age-appropriate direction.

5. SOME CHALLENGING BEHAVIORS ARE DEVELOPMENTALLY CORRECT

In the normal course of development those same behaviors the child needs to developmentally advance to the next level are the very ones that can get him into trouble. As a child goes from dependence to independence, he will often merit labels like "defiant," "won't mind," "bossy," "sassy," and "impulsive." Some of these behaviors are simply a byproduct of the child's need to become an independent individual. And the "stubbornness" that keeps your child from "minding" is the same spunk that helps him get up after a fall and try again.

6. GET IN "PHASE" WITH YOUR CHILD

Developing children take two steps forward and one step backward. In each stage of development, they bounce back and forth from equilibrium to disequilibrium. While they're stepping forward into uncharted territory, finding new friends, trying new things, expect discipline problems due to the anxiety that tags along with experimenting. In each stage, expect the calm to come after the storm. The same child who spent two months in a snit may act like an angel for the next three. This developmental quirk can work to the child's advantage and yours. Spot which phase your child is in. If he's trying to move away and grow up a bit, let out the line. During this phase, your child may seem distant from you; she may even answer back and defy you. Don't take this personally. This phase will soon pass. The child is just in the "do it myself" phase and needs some space and coaching (including correcting) from the sidelines.

One day soon, as sure as sunrise follows nightfall, you'll find your child snuggling next to you on the couch asking for help with tasks and suggesting activities you can do together. You may even wake up one morning and discover your six-year-old nestled next to you in bed. This child is now in a reconnecting phase, a pit stop in the developmental journey when your child needs emotional refueling.

When parents and child are out of harmony, discipline problems multiply. If your child is trying to break away when you are trying to bond, you are likely to overreact to what may be normal behaviors of independence. If you are too busy while your child is in the reconnecting phase, you miss a window of opportunity to strengthen your positions as comforter, adviser, authority figure, and disciplinarian.

7. RESPECT NEGATIVE PHASES

Projects such as toilet training should not be undertaken during a negative phase.

8. PLAN AHEAD

Discipline problems are likely to occur when a child is making the transition from one developmental stage to another, or during major family changes: a move, a new sibling, a family illness, or so on. I recently counseled a family whose previously sweet child had turned sour. The mother had started a new job, and at the same time the child started a new school. If possible, time major changes in your life for when a child is not going through major changes herself.

9. WHAT IS "NORMAL" MAY NOT BE ACCEPTABLE

"I don't care what the book says, Bobby and Jimmy, fighting is not going to be normal in our home," said a mother who knew her tolerance. Part of discipline is learning how to live with a child through different developmental stages. A child's early family experience is like boot camp in preparing for life. A child must learn how to get along with family members in preparation for future social relationships. He needs to be adaptable and learn to adjust his behaviors to a particular family need. Billy is boisterous by temperament. Yet, Billy is expected to play quietly for a few days because mommy is recovering from an illness and has a headache. It is healthy for the child to learn that the sun rises and sets on other people besides himself. Children must learn to adapt to house rules to prepare them to adjust to society's rules.

At the Chinese Buffet...

As I was juggling two plates, one for my son and one for me, in the middle of a Chinese Buffet aisle, I glanced at the raw oysters and wished I had a remote control to fast forward time and push my baby out so I could eat all these raw delights. The buffet ambiance was nice, despite the week-end seafood chaos and people cutting in front of me to grab the tongs to dig into the Lo-Mein. My plate seemed colorful enough and I was ready to join the boys back at our tables when my eyes started tearing and I started feeling this knot in my chest. I felt like I could cry right there in the middle of all this yummy food. I didn't realize at first why I felt so sad all of a sudden, but then, being pregnant and hormonal, I wasn't that surprised either. I thought I may have walked by the onions at the salad bar and took a too big sniff maybe. Then, I realized it was the music in the background that was playing. It brought me back all these strange emotions and it took me a while to recognize it. It was a melody that I heard while watching an amazing video on YouTube. I've post it below so you will understand....A true tear jerker. :*(

Naming your cupcake :)

The Social Security Administration has released the top 50 baby names for 2010! Did your baby make the list? Here are the top 10:

Top 10 Names for Boys

1. Jacob
2. Ethan
3. Michael
4. Jayden
5. William (that's our little cupcake! aka Liam) :)
6. Alexander
7. Noah
8. Daniel
9. Aiden
10. Anthony

Top 10 Names for Girls

1. Isabella
2. Sophia
3. Emma
4. Olivia
5. Ava
6. Emily
7. Abigail
8. Madison
9. Chloe
10. Mia

Sex Diet

Here's an interesting article I read today I wanted to share with you (it sounds so unlike the Fox News people to post a topic like this one...) :

The 7-Day Sex Challenge
By Alisa Bowman
Published May 03, 2011
FoxNews.com


Last year, fellow relationship writers Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo asked me to participate in a 7-day sex challenge they were promoting. All I had to do was agree to have sex with my husband once a day for seven days in a row—not hard, right?

Well, the challenge happened to fall during a time in my life when I was exceptionally career focused. My book Project: Happily Ever After was about to release, and I was obsessed with doing all I could to publicize it.

End result: I had the sex drive of a eunuch on Prozac. Note: I do not truly know what it’s like to be a eunuch on Prozac, but I can imagine.

Anyway for someone who writes about sex for part of her living, this obviously was not a good thing. After all, sex is important for good health, good mood, a good relationship, and good sex column ideas.

Still I reluctantly agreed to do the challenge. It just seemed like a lot of work, you know? That’s why I was pleasantly relieved to learn that that challenge would be held during a week when I would be out of town without my husband.

Alisa Bowman is a veteran self-help journalist who has co-authored more than 20 books, including seven New York Times bestsellers. Since starting her blog ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com, she has helped thousands of readers improve their marriages. She lives happily ever after (most of the time) with her husband, daughter and dog in Pennsylvania.

The second annual 7 Days of Sex Challenge is next week. My book is out. I’m nearing the end of my publicity push. It’s spring. I will not be out of town, and my husband truly deserves to be worshipped seven days in a row. Still, I’m wary. In a world where people have been known to go on year long sex challenges, what will happen if I can’t even manage to pull off 7 days of sex in a row?

I’ll feel like a giant loser is what will happen. That’s why I decided to get tips from three women who had all managed to pull off sex challenges for varying amounts of time—and make their husband’s very happy in the process. Here are 5 ways to make sex a regular part of your bedroom experience.

Realize that not having sex is just as draining as having it

Charla Muller gave her husband the gift of intimacy for an entire year. She only took a pass if either of them was sick or traveling, and she eventually wrote the memoir 365 Nights based on that experience. Before the gift, Muller spent many of her evenings dodging sex. She avoided her husband and waited for him to go to sleep without her. This created an ever-present tension and strain in their relationship. “It doesn’t matter if you are having sex every day or not at all, sex is always present in your relationship,” she says. “For me, it was the elephant in the living room. The idea of it was always there, pressing down on me.” She found that as soon as she committed to the gift of intimacy, it lifted the pressure off their relationship.

Bring foreplay out of the bedroom

If you are so irritated with your spouse that you can’t look at him, you’re not going to want to get naked with him either, and vice versa. To consistently be in the mood for sex, you both must consistently treat one another with respect and be highly attentive to one another’s needs, says Muller. “We brought our best game to our marriage every day,” she says.

Swap roles

Often the person with the higher sex drive does most of the initiating, and the person with the lower sex drive does all of the dodging or rejecting. This leads to tension and hurt feelings. This is why Carolyn Evans, author Forty Beads, suggests that the lower drive partner initiate on her own terms. For instance, Evans has her husband place a bead on her nightstand whenever he’s interested in sex. Whenever she sees a bead, she agrees to initiate at some point in the next 24 hours.

Schedule it

“Nothing that you do that is a priority happens without some planning,” says Muller. Muller and her husband compare calendars each week and find creative ways to work sex into their schedules. They might plan to get up earlier one morning to make time. Or the couple might ask a sitter to show up earlier than needed so the couple can go to their bedroom to “get ready.”

If all else fails, pray

When Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo did the challenge last year, the couple had just survived a week of illnesses. The kids had all had the flu, and Tony had been in the hospital with a viral migraine. “I had nothing to give,” says Alisa. “So I did the one thing I could think of. I prayed. I prayed for desire for my husband and for me to be fully engaged in the experience. God answered my prayer and has done so on many occasions since.”

Alisa Bowman is author of “Project: Happily Ever After” and collaborator of seven New York Times bestsellers. She offers marriage advice at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com. Alisa is a former magazine editor and newspaper reporter who lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and daughter.


Read more:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/05/02/7-day-sex-challenge/#ixzz1LWJt4ytp

Some great marriage quotes du jour :)

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."

— Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu

"A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love."

— Pearl S. Buck

"Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century."

— Mark Twain

"Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side."

— Zig Ziglar

"Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation."

— Oscar Wilde

"As for his secret to staying married: 'My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.'"

— Jon BonJovi

"The best friend is likely to acquire the best wife, because a good marriage is based on the talent for friendship."

— Friedrich Nietzsche

"There is no remedy for love but to love more."

— Thoreau

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."

— Sam Levenson