Perhaps our parents trying to match us up wasn't so bad after all. I didn't want to meet him at first. Why would I? Up to that moment, every single bachelor who set foot in our house with a "decent pedigree" was nothing but appalling. I was preparing myself mentally to politely greet our guests from Virginia. Serving beverages, pretending I cared, and making my parents proud. I was prepared for a long boring "dog and pony show" type of evening. " Look at my daughter's fingers...she would make a fine wife."...blah blah blah.
So I got home that night, after closing my parent's store. I hardly had time to turn the front door knob when the lobby disappeared under four woman hands, grabbing and padding me all over to greet me. Forget about eating. After working fifteen long hours in a row, it was now time to work some more...Hello strangers in my kitchen! Yes, I'm my parent's well trained puppy bride. Um hmm, my hands and fingers are soft. Can I eat and go to bed now?
Omg, this lady is hysterical and has such a high pitch voice....I browsed around to see who else was there...Oooo, who is this guy downstairs? Is that the bachelor my mother was telling me about? Mmm...WHY do I feel happy staring at him? Why can't I look away? He's not THAT good looking...(So I thought)...My feet started walking down the stairs before my head could process...and there I was, standing in front of him like a tired dork. I was pleased to see him with my father's electric guitar in hands. He had a soothing effect on me, and I kept on seeking for his attention. I would look around the house to see where he was. By midnight, my parents sent me the signal to sit at my piano bench so I could impress them with my Cambodian music. I played for them, and to my surprise, I played for him. I could feel him stare at me and empathizing with me. I could feel he felt sorry I had to go through this circus after such a long work day. I could feel him care. And I could feel me caring...for him.
Then, my little piano recital turned into a family music jamming session. I remember all of us having a great time. While our parents continued chatting and playing catch up (our fathers were long lost friends from College), him and I went downstairs and started a round of ping pong. I found out his name was Komar, which I have never heard before.
We played the entire night, as I recall. I was impressed how smooth his technique was, returning the ball my way, returning his replies and jokes my way. As we played, our minds and souls also played ping pong. It was an amazing exchange. The flow was perfect. We were harmoniously in sync with each other. In tune. I wanted to hear and know more. I didn't want the night to end.
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| At our honeymoon in Tahiti |
We had to go to bed at some point. We offered him my brother's room, right next to mine. I could tell he wasn't sleeping by seeing the light under his door lighting the hallway. I couldn't sleep either. I pretended I needed to brush my teeth again. He heard me and joined me. We brushed our teeth quietly together so we wouldn't wake my parents up then both returned to our separate bedrooms. We both stayed up for another hour at least. I remember wishing I could be with him in his room. I remember not knowing why I would want to do such thing. I just met him that night...
My family and I took his family to visit the city. It was a great time to visit Montreal, especially in June, during this nice warm weather. That same night, I had to attend my friend's sister's wedding. While preparing myself for the event, I remember feeling silly and hoping he would notice me. I tried to make myself pretty for him. Before leaving to the wedding, I still remember the look on his face while I came downstairs in my beautiful gown.
They were so many handsome and impressive bachelors at the wedding. I didn't care to dance with any of them and kept on wondering how my new friend, at my house, was doing. I hoped he wasn't too bored, there stuck with our families. I wished he came with me to the wedding. Once I got back, very late at night, he was still up, and he had waited for me. He wanted to know everything that happened, how the wedding was. We spoke again all night, him in his pajamas and I in my gorgeous silk dress. He was the best listener I have ever met. I could see in his eyes how much good there was, so much kindness, so much generosity.
My favorite music band was The Cure back then. It was a strange omen that he never listened to any of their album until the day they decided to drive up to Montreal. He found one of the Cure album in a discount basket in a drug store during his long road trip. He listened to this new CD during the entire trip but especially the song number seven, named Love Song. My favorite song on that album.
Komar and his family took this road trip to celebrate him graduating from Georgetown University. They went down to Florida at first, but when Komar's father heard about my father, and that he was still alive and living up in Canada, they decided to drive all the way up to Montreal to come visit us. Well...especially now that his son graduated from College, he was so proud and he also heard that the Kers had a young daughter about the same age...
They stayed at our house for a couple days, and the morning they left, I was already gone early to open my parent's store. When I came back home that night, I didn't know they'd leave that day and found our house so empty. I looked in every room hoping he forgot something. Once I found nothing, I went to my room and collapsed into tears. I was crying and crying and couldn't really tell why I was crying. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him. I feared to never see him again. He was so far, back in Virginia and back to his normal life. My head kept on replaying every moment I spent with him and my CD player kept on replaying The Cure Love Song. So...I missed him.
He surprised me later that night with an email thanking my family and I for our great hospitality and how he wished we got to say goodbye and how he would welcome me anytime if I decided to visit the D.C area someday. He made sure he got my email address from my father before he left!! I replied back to him right away and our emails played ping pong for the next four months. Then, our phone cards played ping pong also, and then we chatted on ICQ, and that's when we realized we were in love this entire time...actually, since the day we met.
I guess I didn't realize it was love, but it was a strange easy connection, and a yearn for tenderness towards each other. I knew I wanted him in my life forever. I didn't think I was in love back then yet, but I knew we'd become wonderful friends.
We dated long distance for three years. He flew up to Montreal every month for those three years and we would speak on the phone every night at the same time for hours. After three happy years of courting and dorky fun, love and connection, I married my best friend.
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| During our Buddhist Wedding Ceremony |
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| This was right before I left to the wedding with my brother... :) |
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