Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Wishing you Health ( and this year, I seriously understand this wish and it's full meaning), Joy and happiness for the year to come. :)

Happy Holidays and Happy Festivus to all of you

Growing up, we never really celebrated Christmas, well, not in the traditional sense... It was a great excuse for all to get together for dinner and watch movies, stay up late and eat until we'd have to unbutton our pants.We wouldn't necessarily celebrate every year though. I remember many years, looking through the window to see how other families were celebrating. I never thought we really had a Christmas tradition until this year. We had our tree up, friends over for dinner, a family party and yet, something was still missing. Without the obvious that was missing, which is my family up in Montreal, I was missing a Bûche de Noël (Christmas Yule Log Cake).
Every year, whether we would have a family get together or not, one thing was always present, La Bûche de Noël. My mother would bring it from our store and we would all eat it while talking about all the events that marked the year that was about to end. That Christmas Log Cake was decorated with a plastic axe that I licked the icing or ice cream off of. I never realized its presence in our family tradition until now.
I made an extra effort to not be a curmudgeon and tried to remain mindful of the joy around me, but all I could think about was my beloved grandmother who was admitted to the hospital. This could have been a perfect Christmas. I wish I had a real axe so I could let out my anger. Chopping wood seems so relieving. I miss my grandmother. I miss my family. I can't find any Christmas log cake around here. I will have to settle for a chocolate cake and ice cream, and pretend that I'm eating a Christmas log since I'm such an awful baker...

La Bûche de Noël

Ingredients

• 2 cups heavy cream
• 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar
• 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 6 egg yolks
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 6 egg whites
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• confectioners' sugar for dusting

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Line a 10x15 inch jellyroll pan with parchment paper. In a large bowl, whip cream, 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar, 1/2 cup cocoa, and 1 teaspoon vanilla until thick and stiff. Refrigerate.
2. In a large bowl, use an electric mixer to beat egg yolks with 1/2 cup sugar until thick and pale. Blend in 1/3 cup cocoa, 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla, and salt. In large glass bowl, using clean beaters, whip egg whites to soft peaks. Gradually add 1/4 cup sugar, and beat until whites form stiff peaks. Immediately fold the yolk mixture into the whites. Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan.
3. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the cake springs back when lightly touched. Dust a clean dishtowel with confectioners' sugar. Run a knife around the edge of the pan, and turn the warm cake out onto the towel. Remove and discard parchment paper. Starting at the short edge of the cake, roll the cake up with the towel. Cool for 30 minutes.
4. Unroll the cake, and spread the filling to within 1 inch of the edge. Roll the cake up with the filling inside. Place seam side down onto a serving plate, and refrigerate until serving. Dust with confectioners' sugar before serving.

Junk Food of the Day :)

A nice awkward wedding photo just for you..because nothing expresses eternal love quite like a “motorboat.”















This man is surely protective of his loved ones... :P














Behind the awkwardness: Reach out and touch.... Ha ha ha ha!

The Delicious Diet

My little cousin was around three years old when I had to watch her for a couple of hours, while I was visiting her family in the D.C area. Her mother had left dinner in the fridge for us but little Kelly didn't want to eat it and requested a grilled cheese instead. Back then, as oddly as it may sound, I never had nor made a grilled cheese before. I asked her what made a grilled cheese a grilled cheese and understood it was a simple melted cheese sandwich. My lazy teenager self didn't feel like doing extra dishes so I popped a toasted cheese sandwich in the microwave to melt the cheese. She seemed happy. It looked like a grilled cheese. She ate nearly half of it. I was proud I could take care of her and when I asked her how it was, that tiny little three year old responded : " It's not delicious". She already knew what delicious was. Tee hee hee.
I often think about that moment when I get into a food binge. I remember that little voice saying " It's not delicious" and it makes me pause, and take a look at this bite I was about to devour and ask myself " is it delicious?". Most of the time, it's good, satisfying but not to the point I would say delicious. What if I would only eat delicious things? If it's not delicious, I would just eat a little, even when I'm really hungry and truly focus on eating what is truly delicious...perhaps I would loose weight and it wouldn't really be a diet but more of a "lifestyle"...
And then, I thought about my relationships. I have many great relationships I really cherish, but sometimes, I feel like it's rather leaning on the quantity rather on quality...and quality, it all depends on point of view, expectations and definitions... Are most of my relationships purely delicious to me? Some are delicious, others are good, some old, some fresh, some stale, and not too many bitter ones but I could still munch on them all. The people are all delicious to me, but it does not mean it translates in the actual relationship. My marriage is truly delicious and now, I would love to find some magic ingredients to season my other hearty and warm relationships into something even more delicious. :)

Recipe of Friendship

Let me see if you like it or not..

Name of the dish: ‘FRIENDSHIP’.
Ingredients:
2 table spoons of TRUST.The most essential ingredient without which the recipe is a complete failure.
1 full cup of SELFLESSNESS — The less this ingredient(which should be in liquid state) in your recipe,the more is the chance of spoiling it.
1 and a half table spoon each of CARE and AFFECTION.

1 table spoon of LOYALTY
1 table spoon each of SINCERITY and UNDERSTANDING both of which are very very important for the dish to be successful.

Take all the ingredients and pour the ingredient selflessness into it and mix it evenly and sprinkle the ingredient “I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU” all over the dish. Don't forget to use a "FUN and COMFORTABLE SILENCES" safe oven dish to bake it in.

–Dont even get SPICES like arrogance,selfishness and possessiveness in the vicinity because they are prone to spoil the recipe forever!!

TaDaaaaaa!!!!!! There you go!!

Well Done

If my heart was a fish net, it would be such a gigantic fish net. I caught so many fishes, great ones and bad ones. I didn't realize that I needed to learn to fish and pick the kind that was fresh, and healthy for me. The fish that would respond to my needs, satiate my appetite. I caught too many fishes over the years and each of them made me so proud. I was so proud of them that I couldn't decipher which was no longer fresh anymore. Now that I am in a bad place, with low energy and omega three, I needed a healthy fish to nourish me, help me feel better but instead, I got food poisoning.
The problem when your friends are like fishes, is that they either have a short memory, don't care, don't dig you or worse, they'll try to eat you whole...
I don't know where I learned to expect this much from my friends. Where it came from. I really wished I didn't care as much about them. My parents always taught me that only family mattered, so, in response, I loved my friends like my family. The longer we remained friends, the more I assumed they knew me. The longer we've still been friends, the more they actually don't. At this point, I'm not sure what still being friends means. We still talk on the phone? We still see each other once a year? What does any of this mean? What is the point in staying friends when the relationship has stopped evolving? The problem is that while they were still current to me, some of them filed me in their archives. Our friendship was long gone, probably even before I left....
I feel lost, and so far from everyone. In times like these, this is when I need my friends. Being so far from everyone I care the most is the hardest thing. Home becomes not home, and the new home feels like an empty room where I can dance freely without the fear of bumping into anyone...because there is no one.
I hung up the phone with a bitter taste in my mouth. You would think that if you kept a friend for over twenty years, that this friendship is mutual, precious and valuable; that it would remain strong despite the distance, that this person would understand, love you and cherish this long lasting friendship? Instead of aging like fine wine, it just turned into cheap stale grape juice.
I'm thinking about cleaning up my pantry. As much as I like to refer to my best friends as my multivitamins, even those have an expiration date on the bottle. I just chose to ignore it for too long. Stick a fork in me, because I'm done.

Cold Snowy Day

It lasted only a moment, when we looked outside our window right at the perfect time to admire our first snow flurries of the year right before it all melted. It would have been a magical moment, watching my son's eyes light up in amazement by this nature's frosted grace. He was adorable and very expressive as usual. It would have been a perfect winter morning if only I could join my loved ones in their snow globe joy. Seeing those frail snow flakes drizzling from the sky made me miss home more than ever. Especially since home spent the night at the hospital and was still there all day and we still haven't heard any news from her. My grandmother is my home. She is the main reason I return to Montreal to visit. The white snow flakes, my grandmother's white hair and Montreal's arctic winters; I was homesick. My dear precious grandmother had to be rushed to the emergency room and I feel like I should be there by her side. My grandmother who could be the inspiration of stories such as Peter Pan, who could be the Rimbaldi remedy in Alias (the magic remedy for eternal life and youth). My grandmother who has never been ill for eighty-three years and had more endurance than most of us. My dear grandmother who raised me and whom I could call my mother...She is the symbol of strength and now, her strength will have to be challenged. So is ours.
To view her as just an old person would be a disservice to her. I always despised people being amazed on how she still had a great memory, and that she didn't show symptoms of aging yet. I despised the assumption that being old meant limiting the perception of a person to her age group. She is far more than that. She is a person I respect and know very well, her tastes, her thoughts. She has a strong opinion of the world, strong convictions. Until she shows real signs of aging and health problems, I want people to talk about her like anybody else: as a whole person. No one would say about me that they are amazed I didn't sound loopy yet, or how I still have strength. My grandmother never showed any signs of physical weakness so why bring this up and limit her to the typical old person when we could talk about her great contributions to this world and her legacy.
I know in my heart that she will be fine, that she is a fighter no matter what she has. However, I am now sad that this period I was dreading of her aging taking over her seems to have manifested. I am even sadder when opening up to friends about her, how instead of hearing me out, and meeting me where I am emotionally, how they would talk about her as if she was already gone. Or worse, how they would turn immediately to their own stories on how they lost their grandparents or how normal it is to lose them at some point, as if I wasn't already aware of this inevitability. Focusing on the actual case without projection seems to be a rare virtue...
A pregnant woman does not want to hear about fetal problems, while she is busy nesting and maximizing the most positive energy towards the health of her newborn. I do not want to hear about her being gone when I am hoping that my grandmother would still live another hundred years.

An interesting article By Joyce Hansen

Listening To Hear

Few people seem to be listening beyond the occasional nod they give to the speaker.

It is time to assess our own listening styles and to watch out for the ineffective ones with the goal to want to change them to effective styles for improved communication and relationships:

1. Pseudo listening - an imitation of the real thing - you know the type - smile, nod, add a few words while masking thoughts that have nothing to do with what is being said
2. Stage-Hogging - the stage-hogger is busy looking for ways to turn the topic of conversation to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker
3. Selective Listening - responding only to the parts of the speakers' remarks that interest them, rejecting everything else that is said
4. Insulated Listening - the cold shoulder style - this listener fails to hear or acknowledge the speaker when they don't want to discuss a topic and the speaker starts talking about the subject anyway
5. Defensive Listening - this listener thinks the speaker is out to get them and reads into every word that is being said to try to decipher if they feel it is a personal insult
6. Ambushing - watch these type of listeners - they are listening but they are gathering information to use against you when you finish speaking
7. Insensitive Listening - these type of listeners take the speakers' words at face value - they don't take into consideration the words not being spoken and behavior being exhibited that perhaps the speaker is communicating more than the words that are actually spoken

Can you relate to any of these listening styles? I think we have all been guilty of being an ineffective listener at numerous times in our lives. Perhaps you might want to become a better listener. Some tips to try are:

1. Practice the Basics of Listening
   Practice your listening skills every day. Have someone tell you a brief story and then immediately summarize what the person said and relay the communication back to them. Discuss with the person if it was an accurate translation.
   
   
2. Practice Instant Recollection
   If you think you might embarrass yourself trying the exercise in #1, read a story in a newspaper as if the columnist was telling you the story and then write a summary without referring back to the newspaper. Reread the story and reflect on how much you remembered and why.
   
   
3. Practice Various Listening Styles
   Study different effective listening styles and practice each to determine which styles you would like to incorporate into your daily communication.
   
   
4. Practice Listening With Your Ears Only
   Turn off all communication devices when you are communicating with someone. If this isn't possible, let the people you are with know that you may need to excuse yourself for a brief moment to answer the emergency call.
   
   
5. Practice Listening For Pure Pleasure
   When is the last time you listened for the pure pleasure of hearing what the other person had to say? Try relaxing, calm your mind and just listen. You will be amazed at how much more you learn about the person and about the topics they are discussing.
   
   
6. Practice Speaking To Lure Listeners
   Slow down your speech and create interesting storylines that are of current interest to the people you will be speaking with. This will entice their curiosity to learn more about you and what you are talking about. The goal is to have people lean towards you, not to be repelled with words that are spoken quickly and without thought.
   
   
7. Practice Listening To Overcome Objections
   How many times have you heard the expression - you have two ears and one mouth - use them wisely? Sales representatives lose orders because they do most of the talking and fail to hear what the true objections of the prospect really are.
   
   People will give you clues if you are attentive enough to watch and listen for them. When someone keeps glancing away from you when you are speaking to listen to other people's conversations, you know you have lost them. Ensure you use open ended questions to keep people engaged in the conversation.
   
   
8. Practice Listening To Enhance Relationships
   To be understood you first need to understand. Have you heard people say "they just don't understand me". I wonder how much time they have invested in trying to understand what the other person is saying first and know what it would be like to "walk a mile in their shoes". To build relationships that last, try understanding the other person's point of view first before expecting them to understand yours.
   
   
9. Practice Listening To Avoid Disappointments
   Many times I have thought I heard a person say something because I truly wanted to hear certain words be spoken. Later I found out that they hadn't either said what I thought they said or they didn't mean what I thought they did. This is especially disappointing when you think you have agreed to do business together and it turns out the other person was not committed to cementing the deal.
   
   
10. Practice Listening To Learn
    How many times do we just listen long enough to capture key words and then tune out the rest of the conversation? Try to slow your mind down long enough to listen to every word the person says. Who knows you may learn something you didn't know. Everyone has something of value to share with the world.
    
    
11. Practice Breathing Techniques
    Try meditating before you go into a meeting where you will need to concentrate for an extended period of time. You will probably be able to concentrate better, provide valuable input into the meeting, hear what the other people say and be able to summarize the meeting effectively.
    
    The meditation technique can be as simple as finding a quiet place, closing your eyes and listening to your breathing. Deep breaths in and out will help you gain focus and clarity and refresh you whenever you need to still the chatter in your brain.

Can you image what it would be like if you couldn't hear at all? Don't take the ability to hear for granted. Hone your skills to hear every word and sound and notice how the world around you changes.

Popcorn Love

A friend of mine met her love while waiting in line to get some popcorn at the movie theater. Love literally popped out of nowhere like fresh kernels for her. The funny thing is that she normally never orders or eats popcorn. They parted ways to go watch their movies and bumped again into each other afterward and exchanged emails.
I love hearing stories about how people meet and fall in love. It seems like love manifests itself when doing something out of the ordinary, as if the universe wanted us to get outside of our comfort zone in order to be receptive to this other soul. I read somewhere that modifying your daily habits like wearing your watch on your other wrist or taking a different road to get to the same destination has an impact on your IQ. In this case, could it also mean it affects your pheromone's intelligence?

Priceless (Hors de Prix), starring Audrey Tautou, and Gad Elmaleh.

Audrey plays the role of a young girl named Irene who's idea of a prince is a rich old man, so she cruises the French Riviera in search of one to marry. She would only fall for wealthy men and

thinks that she's going to find her happiness in this world of diamonds and restaurants and is ready for anything to get it.
Even though the subject is pretty classic, I really loved the way the story unraveled and the direction. A great evening spent with my Ben and Jerry ice cream tub and flannel pajamas. Hoping you'll enjoy this movie as much as I did. :)

Curry and Soul Mates

There are as many ways of serving curry as they are ways of defining Soul Mates. From India to Japan to Jamaica, each of these cultures have found a way to adapt their curry recipe to their taste. As the Soul Mates article mentions, they are dangers and several myths about believing in " Finding the Right and Only Perfect One". I am amongst those who believe there could be several soul mates out there for each person, or not at all for others. For instance, a soul mate would be someone who is truly compatible because of common core philosophical and religious beliefs, compatible views on money management and child rearing. Perhaps it is risky to believe in soul mates since some people may never find his or hers? Or some people don't think the notion of soul mate exists at all. I think looking for love is like wanting anything else. Not everyone owns a Ferrari, but doesn't make Ferrari non-existent. Some would have a soul mate, some don't, some may have one and never find it. Whether it exists or not, there is nothing wrong with shooting for the stars. Knowing what you want, and where you want to go in a relationship and finding someone who is as committed and dedicated as you are in the relationship is key in my opinion.

Curry Mouan (Cambodian Chicken Curry)

Recipe Adapted From: The Elephant Walk Cookbook

By: Longtein De Monteiro & Kathereine Neustadt

Serve 8

Paste:

¼ cup vegetable oil

¼ cup sliced lemongrass

3 dried New Mexico chillies, soaked, seeded, and deveined

5 cloves garlic, coarsely chopped

1 large shallot, coarsely chopped

2 slices peeled galangal, about 1½" across & 1/8" thick

1½ cinnamon sticks, cracked

4 whole star anise

9 cardamom seeds

1 small asian nutmeg

16 peppercorns

½ tsp coriander seeds

½ tsp fennel seeds

¼ tsp turmeric

2½ tsp shrimp paste

1 cup water

¼ cup chopped cilantro

• Heat oil in a large skillet, fry all of the ingredients above, except water and the cilantro, to release their flavor about 5 minutes. Transfer to a blender, add the water and the chopped cilantro, process until smooth. Set aside while you are preparing the other ingredients.

The curry:

½ cup plus 1 - 2 tbs vegetable oil

3½ cups coconut milk

1½ - 2 pounds chicken pieces (2 - 3 whole legs, cut into 1½"pieces, and 2 wings, severed at the joint with a cleaver)

1 medium onion, thinly sliced

2 tbs fish sauce

4 teaspoon sugar

1 tsp salt

1 pound Idaho potatoes, peeled, halve and cut into 1" thick-slices

• In a large heavy pot pan, heat the oil over medium heat, add 1 cup coconut milk and cook until the oil begin to separate from the milk. Add 1½ cup of the curry paste (freeze any extra for future use) cook and stirring bout 2 minutes until the flavor develop. If the surface of the sauce is not cover with dark spots, add another tablespoon of oil.
• Add the chicken, stirring well to coat, then add onion, fish sauce, sugar, and salt. Cook for 5 minutes. Add the remaining 2½ cups coconut milk, and cook high simmer, partially covered, until the chicken is tender, about 20 - 25 minutes.
• While the curry is cooking, heat the remaining ½ cup oil over medium high heat, add the potatoes, and fry until golden brown.
• Add the fried potato into the chicken curry, and finish cooking until the chicken is done and the potatoes are tender.
• Transfer to a serving dish and serve with steam jasmine rice.

Bonne Appétit!

Timer, a charming indie movie that I highly recommend if you haven't seen it yet. A fresh twist to the concept of love and Soul Mates.

"An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything."

~Lynn Johnston

"When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm." ~Dan Heist

The purpose of an apology is to acknowledge the wrong that has been done, let the person who is hurt know that you regret, understand why he or she is hurt and what has caused it and then, give a promise, an assurance that it will not happen again. Those are what make apologies truly healing and

meaningful.

Chocolate Diamonds from the Jared, LeVian collection , my two perfect classics combined. You can never go wrong with diamonds (well, unless you offer them to someone who is against causes such as blood diamonds) and chocolate (unless you are lactose intolerant or allergic to cacao...). Again, I digress.

Two classics that go hand in hand together. What else is a classic? Amazing chemistry, a healthy sex life, great communication and respect of other's boundaries, background, and personal values. :)

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person"

"Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person. "- Sophia Bush

"A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt everyday." - Andre Maurois

”A hug is the perfect gift; one size fits all, and nobody minds if you exchange it.”-Anonymous

" Love is not finding someone to live with, it's finding someone you can't live without" - Rafael Ortiz

When we got married seven years ago, we promised not to love each other forever, but every single day....
I truly feel that Komar is my soulmate. I don't think it's about knowing who is your soulmate but feeling like the one you love is your kindred soul. And if he really was my soulmate, our souls must have met for the first time throughout all these lives, assuming they are many. They must have met for the first time to be this happy to spend all this time together. He makes every single day count and I am truly grateful to have him in my life.

I don't know about you, but I'm an awful baker. I surely can cook but I will ruin my cake each time or burn myself. Despite the fact that I know in advance my cake will turn out to be a disaster, whenever I take the courage to try again, I still try to find the richest ingredients and not skim on the goodies. It ends up costing me a fortune but at least, I know I tried and, while not knowing how the cake will turn out, it has all the chances to be the most decadent gooey cake ever. I think the same thing applies to love and new relationships. I know many people who got burned in the past and go into a new relationship filled with apprehensions and restraints. They go in with a cautious mind set to a point that sometimes, they are not themselves anymore and are blinded by the fear of failure and rejection instead of savoring what's in front of them. If I put less chocolate in my recipe thinking I'd burn the cake anyways, well, for sure the cake will be bad in the end...you get where I'm going? Don't hold back on the sweets, if you want some love treats...learn to make a love cake. :)

"The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands."
- Alexandria Penney

This blog is an opportunity for me to think, write, share and exchange about my biggest passion of all...LOVE.

And there I mean, all forms of love. I don't want to write about how to find love, how to attract the opposite sex or what positions will make your partner go to nirvana type of thing. I'd like to use this platform as a real reflection about what love is, should be and what people expect from love. Oh, and how and what we recognize as love. Love from their closed ones, partner, kids, friends. How do you define love? And without forgetting love and it's evolution through time and cultures. Love has evolved but has it really?

We also focus so much about finding love but there is definitely not enough about what to do once we have found this long time seek love. How to grow it, cherish it?