Recipe for Unconditional Love
"Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children."
- Rosaleen Dickson
Love and unconditional love are emotions that come from within, but also emotions that can be learned. I think when people don't understand how someone can "learn to love", they confuse it with physical attraction. Physical attraction is bred from chemistry, pheromones and instincts. Love can be born from physical attraction but also from empathy, and a deep eager for commitment to a person for many different reasons. In some countries, it doesn't even take love to commit to someone. Just the bind by itself can yield strong attachment, loyalty and feelings of devotion. Just like in the classic book The Little Prince written by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “ It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important".
Once we consciously make the decision to commit to a relationship, however it started, the key to success is to jump into the relationship with both feet in. From there, it becomes our sense of duty that kicks in. Our duty to make the relationship grow and last. Some people walk into a new relationship filled with entitlement rather than a sense of duty. "What can that person bring to me?" rather than "What can I bring to contribute to this relationship?".
- Rosaleen Dickson
Love and unconditional love are emotions that come from within, but also emotions that can be learned. I think when people don't understand how someone can "learn to love", they confuse it with physical attraction. Physical attraction is bred from chemistry, pheromones and instincts. Love can be born from physical attraction but also from empathy, and a deep eager for commitment to a person for many different reasons. In some countries, it doesn't even take love to commit to someone. Just the bind by itself can yield strong attachment, loyalty and feelings of devotion. Just like in the classic book The Little Prince written by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “ It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important".
Once we consciously make the decision to commit to a relationship, however it started, the key to success is to jump into the relationship with both feet in. From there, it becomes our sense of duty that kicks in. Our duty to make the relationship grow and last. Some people walk into a new relationship filled with entitlement rather than a sense of duty. "What can that person bring to me?" rather than "What can I bring to contribute to this relationship?".
A great example of entering into a relationship of unconditional love are adoption love stories:
My friend Geneviève for instance, she is the radiant mother on this dreamy family picture on the Beach (Isn't it amazing how little Simon looks like his adoptive parents?). After going through some hurdles trying to conceive naturally, Geneviève and her boyfriend weighed all their possible options, and the idea of adoption warmed their hearts. They knew that was where they were headed together. They were headed to a nice, warm journey of parenting and would be blessed later with their little Simon, from Colombia.
Like any scenario welcoming a new baby home, they've encountered their share of challenges, but nothing they could not overcome. Love happened right away and yet, they still had to work on bonding with the child. They all had to learn to adjust to this new change, bond and forge a line of trust. It did not take long to become this magnificent, happy family.
It takes very determined people to pursue the entire adoption process until the end along with fitting a perfect love match. They went through a thorough interview process in order to determine if they would be the perfect parents for little Simon. Not the other way around.
They walked into the relationship with a full commitment to love that kid unconditionally. It doesn't matter how the child is, or what he has to bring. They willingly chose and fought to be blessed with the presence of that child in their lives despite the fear of the unknown. And this is how choosing to love someone unconditionally is all about.
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