Ocean Spray...

I have to confess, but the very first time I heard about female ejaculation, I was mystified. No pun intended. lol

I still remember that day, when I was in my Sex Psychology class, an elective class I took in College. The teacher decided to show us a video of "La femme fontaine" and I couldn't help but browse throughout the entire class to try to guess which girls had received this gift from the Gods (or was it a curse? I wasn't too sure) depending on their reactions and body language while watching the video. It was way less awkward than actually keeping my eyes on the screen, while I was in public...I remember my Queen Victoria sighing with envy that day...

I think that was, by far, the most disturbing anatomical discovery for the curious young girl that I was. I learned that only ten percent of women were able to sprinkle across the room like an erupting geyser, but was that a true statistic? Then I started talking about it with some girlfriends and realized some of them had their own irrigation system built in. I was impressed. So impressed I had to look this phenomenon out on the internet. I thought to myself, those porn stars, they are all faking their orgasms, but the sprinkling ones, they are not. They must have fun for real! That was until one of my girls told me she and many more could just spray on command and it does not correlate to an orgasm necessarily. Fascinating, isn't it? I wonder what that liquid is made of. I probably could look it up but I'm not THAT motivated. I like to speculate it must be the same amniotic fluid that's inside the uterus when the water breaks before delivering a baby.

I still remember my guy friend telling me a few years before that, that he was having a great time with this girl until she decided to pee all over his bed sheets. I had no idea it was female ejaculation back then, so didn't he, nor she. They both were so shocked apparently. And I thought the teenage boys had it bad, having to hide their dirty laundry after a wet dream...What happens to the poor young teenage girl who wandered alone too long and turned her room into a swamp? What does she tell her parents when they see the room all flooded? The thought of this cracks me up. No pun intended again...

All these stories of girls with muscles so strong they can toss ping pong balls with their Queen Victorias, or throw darts. Well, my Queen Victoria surely does not have any talent like that. Oh, what am I saying? Of course it has talents!! It created my two magnificent sons that I love more than anything in the world. There. I have talents too. (Wait??? Did I just write my own Vagina Monologue?) . :P

That awkward moment when you're on a date and he orders a salad right after you ordered a big juicy steak...

There is this preconceived notion and expectation that women have a smaller appetite than men. The common belief seems to be that women have a smaller appetite for food, sex or ambition, and when we encounter one that is more vocal and aware of her needs, men (and even some women) become intimidated by them. I find it discouraging when I hear stories of men feeling threatened by women with power. Any kind of power. Sex drive seem to be the scariest...It takes me back to those old days where witches were persecuted for having special capabilities...Those men are stupid...The day they will understand that they are in best hands with a woman with power, that is when their world will turn upside down.

Our society hyper-sexualizes everything and loudly sends out messages of what an average man fantasizes about: A clueless, wet (there is always a wet element: her wet hair, white t-shirt, her moist lips or nonetheless, her dripping Queen Victoria) woman licking everything and anything without questioning anything and ending innocently in sexy pauses and ready to receive, smirking like a deer in the headlight. They want her hungry...but never HUNGRY. Not because they wouldn't like it, but because they don't think those women really exist, and those who enjoy sex are often judged as sluts. Most women, because of this preconceived notion of them having the appetite of a bird, often don't allow themselves to feed their hunger to the fullest.

I applaude the caveman who would rather pay for a prostitute to fulfill his dirtiest fantasies rather than presenting the idea to his steady partner. (insert sarcasm here). His excuse being that he respects his love too much to degrade her to such activity and it would change his holy perception of her. Well, he definitely didn't care about her changing her perception of HIM. How is that respectful to seek someone else? A street worker or not. And the assumption that she wouldn't enjoy it, but if she dared to enjoy it, she'd have to face his judgment afterward, even though he should know her by now...All of this exasperates me. And yes, I know men who did that to some girls I know.

I know a husband who would love watching porn but never allow his wife to watch it. She's too good for porn. That same guy runs to take a shower after each time they are done having sex, as if it was so dirty or something. I don't care which denomination you worship, but I am certain there is no literature out there that forbid being nasty with the person you are married to. MOST religions forbid adultery but there is no where where it says married couples cannot have some wild fun. Oh, and speaking of wild, I am tired of wild being synonym for sadomasochist activities!! Too many sexual aberrations I can handle. It doesn't affect me personally, thankfully, but it drains me to know that some of my girls are subjected to such archaic view of their intimacy...or more so, LACK of REAL intimacy. And intimacy isn't limited to coitus or an explosive finale.

The main problem I believe, is the lack of general sex education. I'm not talking about a class where you learn about your anatomy and what a clitoris is. I am talking about learning about self-esteem, and the value of intimacy. Learning about our minds, sex drive and what catalyst triggers what, and the obscure and unexplored side of our subconscience. In some cultures, they have trainings about how to become a companion. In the Kama Sutra for instance, it's not only about sex positions, but also mastering the art of intimacy. Discovering, savoring, maximizing the sensual experience in its purest, fusional form. Our society lacks of sex education leading to increasing our sex intellect. Back to my food analogy, there is a lack of food culture and knowledge of refined food. People settle for junk food or just family friendly food, and in some cases, some take out. Refining your vision of sexuality doesn't turn you into a wild nymphomaniac necessarily. Even the finest mushroom truffle has one feature that makes it valuable: its wildness.

I dream of a day when women will learn to master their wildness and men will have developed minds and taste buds enough to value them. Here, I am talking, beyond the whipped cream, lingeries, and dirty talk...And just like when ordering at a restaurant: don't go there as a food critic, but keep on ordering the same things and trying new things on the menu...They will end up catching on what you like...Woman can be ladies in the outside world but it is OK to turn into a refined minx in the bedroom...or in the kitchen, or why not the staircase?

One more point I would like to make is that guilt people keep on having when having their minds wander. Let your mind wander and have fun together. Be opportunist, sneaky. Plan ahead. Surprise him or her and switch the power house around. It's ok to crave for just a raw fish right away, or just a greasy French fry, or start craving for just a fry and turning it into a ten course meal....And sometimes, chocolate can go in a beef chili con carne, and bacon can be added to a chocolate...Bottom line, YOU make the rules...

Sex Diet

Here's an interesting article I read today I wanted to share with you (it sounds so unlike the Fox News people to post a topic like this one...) :

The 7-Day Sex Challenge
By Alisa Bowman
Published May 03, 2011
FoxNews.com


Last year, fellow relationship writers Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo asked me to participate in a 7-day sex challenge they were promoting. All I had to do was agree to have sex with my husband once a day for seven days in a row—not hard, right?

Well, the challenge happened to fall during a time in my life when I was exceptionally career focused. My book Project: Happily Ever After was about to release, and I was obsessed with doing all I could to publicize it.

End result: I had the sex drive of a eunuch on Prozac. Note: I do not truly know what it’s like to be a eunuch on Prozac, but I can imagine.

Anyway for someone who writes about sex for part of her living, this obviously was not a good thing. After all, sex is important for good health, good mood, a good relationship, and good sex column ideas.

Still I reluctantly agreed to do the challenge. It just seemed like a lot of work, you know? That’s why I was pleasantly relieved to learn that that challenge would be held during a week when I would be out of town without my husband.

Alisa Bowman is a veteran self-help journalist who has co-authored more than 20 books, including seven New York Times bestsellers. Since starting her blog ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com, she has helped thousands of readers improve their marriages. She lives happily ever after (most of the time) with her husband, daughter and dog in Pennsylvania.

The second annual 7 Days of Sex Challenge is next week. My book is out. I’m nearing the end of my publicity push. It’s spring. I will not be out of town, and my husband truly deserves to be worshipped seven days in a row. Still, I’m wary. In a world where people have been known to go on year long sex challenges, what will happen if I can’t even manage to pull off 7 days of sex in a row?

I’ll feel like a giant loser is what will happen. That’s why I decided to get tips from three women who had all managed to pull off sex challenges for varying amounts of time—and make their husband’s very happy in the process. Here are 5 ways to make sex a regular part of your bedroom experience.

Realize that not having sex is just as draining as having it

Charla Muller gave her husband the gift of intimacy for an entire year. She only took a pass if either of them was sick or traveling, and she eventually wrote the memoir 365 Nights based on that experience. Before the gift, Muller spent many of her evenings dodging sex. She avoided her husband and waited for him to go to sleep without her. This created an ever-present tension and strain in their relationship. “It doesn’t matter if you are having sex every day or not at all, sex is always present in your relationship,” she says. “For me, it was the elephant in the living room. The idea of it was always there, pressing down on me.” She found that as soon as she committed to the gift of intimacy, it lifted the pressure off their relationship.

Bring foreplay out of the bedroom

If you are so irritated with your spouse that you can’t look at him, you’re not going to want to get naked with him either, and vice versa. To consistently be in the mood for sex, you both must consistently treat one another with respect and be highly attentive to one another’s needs, says Muller. “We brought our best game to our marriage every day,” she says.

Swap roles

Often the person with the higher sex drive does most of the initiating, and the person with the lower sex drive does all of the dodging or rejecting. This leads to tension and hurt feelings. This is why Carolyn Evans, author Forty Beads, suggests that the lower drive partner initiate on her own terms. For instance, Evans has her husband place a bead on her nightstand whenever he’s interested in sex. Whenever she sees a bead, she agrees to initiate at some point in the next 24 hours.

Schedule it

“Nothing that you do that is a priority happens without some planning,” says Muller. Muller and her husband compare calendars each week and find creative ways to work sex into their schedules. They might plan to get up earlier one morning to make time. Or the couple might ask a sitter to show up earlier than needed so the couple can go to their bedroom to “get ready.”

If all else fails, pray

When Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo did the challenge last year, the couple had just survived a week of illnesses. The kids had all had the flu, and Tony had been in the hospital with a viral migraine. “I had nothing to give,” says Alisa. “So I did the one thing I could think of. I prayed. I prayed for desire for my husband and for me to be fully engaged in the experience. God answered my prayer and has done so on many occasions since.”

Alisa Bowman is author of “Project: Happily Ever After” and collaborator of seven New York Times bestsellers. She offers marriage advice at ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com. Alisa is a former magazine editor and newspaper reporter who lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and daughter.


Read more:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/05/02/7-day-sex-challenge/#ixzz1LWJt4ytp

You make love the way you eat...

I always have a good kick at analyzing the way people eat, especially how couples eat together. I am surely not the first person to link food with people's behavior, hence the well known adage
" We are what we eat"...I just brought that saying into the bedroom. :P

Have you ever wondered if people with a food schedule and ate spaghetti every Tuesday evening also had a schedule for their intimacy? I like to assume they'd be having sex, let's say, only on Saturdays. Or people who never want to try new food? Wouldn't that indicate they're closed minded to new sexual positions or experiences? Maybe it's not that directly linked but I like to think so. Some couples don't mind not ordering the same thing...Some enjoy just a plain Mac and Cheese and others need a ten course meal all the time, does that mean some are more spontaneous and others need a whole ambiance and plenty of foreplay? :)

Back when I was on the dating scene, I would know right off hand I couldn't be interested in a guy who would never care to share his food or make me have a taste of his dish he ordered. I always believed that people sharing their pleasure, any pleasure, as mundane as food, would be generous in other areas and also care about the other person's pleasure...And messy eaters..well, you know what I'd assume...Without forgetting those guys who devour everything without taking the time to savor each bite, I don't think they'd notice the fine lingerie you carefully took the time to pick for him...Enough about the man...

How about girls who care about their food presentation...Does that mean their lingerie always matches and that they are always well trimmed? Sorry for these bold statements...Just some food for thought. :P What do you think?

While waiting for a bun in the oven...

This post is for my pregnant friends. :) Three years ago, when I was expecting, I was reading about anything related to pregnancy and noticed that there was not much clear documentation about what positions were safe or not during pregnancy. Not until my friend sent me this flyer that they gave out at the Verdun Hospital, up in Montreal.

I know some mom-to-be will see this and think "What? Me having sex now with this huge belly? Not interested! I'm way too tired and uncomfortable to even consider it!!". Some would despise intercourse so much they would tell their spouse they can't be active for six months after the delivery.

This post is for those who are not too floored by all the pregnancy sickness and fatigue, and not in a situation where sex isn't recommended by their doctor.

Five great reasons to have sex when you’re pregnant

• Your body is geared up for better, easier sex: increased blood flow to the pelvic area can cause engorgement of the genitals and heighten the sensation
• Sex increases your bond with your partner. You’re heading for a magical, but stressful, time so the closer you are in the run-up to the birth, the better.
• - Orgasm – or just massage – is a great way to relieve tension in the body and soothe aching limbs.
• It helps you prepare for childbirth by keeping your pelvic muscles strong and supple.
  

• - It’s free and it’s fun. What else can you say that about during pregnancy?

  
  

So here are the sexual positions that were described and recommended on that flyer from the hospital that I have scanned to share with you:

For some reasons, Blogger won't let me add captions directly in the photos. Those two illustrations above are the sexual positions that are safe ONLY for the first THREE months.

These other two positions above are to be practiced until up to FIVE months.

These three pictures above are positions that are safe throughout the entire pregnancy and even until the end.

It is inadvisable to practice this last position above throughout the entire pregnancy as the penetration would be too deep.

I hope this document will help some of you. Have fun!