Soul Pancake: What does Love look like to YOU?

 ( Go get your tissue box). LOVED this video. <3

Finding your own carb :)

A while back, a dear friend asked me how I knew he was the one....

People are so afraid of carbs nowadays. They ruin your sweet, skinny, lean look. People are so afraid of relationships too. They ache your heart. I wish people wouldn't fear carbs so much. I think if you've had issues with carbs, you just need to learn to juggle with portions and allow room for other food categories on your plate. Easier said than done, I know. I don't think running away from carbs completely is healthy as it makes you backlash and splurge into an unhealthy decadent dessert to overcompensate for the lack of solid and healthy carbs.

I surely love my jasmine rice. Yes, I am feeding the Asian stereotype. Well, in my case, it is true that I can barely skip a day or two without rice. I quickly realized that Komar was my jasmine rice, vital for my overal sanity.

I knew it was him when I realized I couldn't spend a day without him from the moment we met.  I couldn't tell whether it was love or passion or just attraction at first. All I knew was that I could not imagine a day breathing without knowing he was o. k and happy somewhere ( back then, he was in D.C while I was still up in Montreal). We cared about each other, as simple as that. He always made sure I felt and knew how much he cared about me. We didn't need to play mind games or try to decode each other. Our feelings were pure and backed with clear actions. No promises were spoken in vain. We were together, as committed to one another.

I wanted to be the best friend and support I could be for him and I could feel he felt the same way too. When we JUST met each other, we connected in a very special way and I wasn't afraid of being vulnerable with him. I wanted him to be happy and he as well for me. I gave him my heart and he kept it pumping since.

I knew he was my rice. He makes my heart and soul feel satiated and content, yet I always want and need more. I discovered very quickly that he was my jasmine rice. He brings me comfort in a way no one else can. He is addictive yet, never sickening and I enjoy every instant with him. He is so flexible that I can garnish his life with any craziness I want and it would pair well with him. Even when we argue, I still feel so much love in his frustration, because he's fighting hard to make his point come across simply because he cares THAT much. Otherwise, you wouldn't hear a peep coming out of him. ( yes, quiet guy). :P

He keeps my heart and soul healthy, full and happy. I met several wrong carbs, and used to chase after "ice cream parfait" men. There are plenty of banana splits, brownies and hot fudge sundaes out there, all very attractive and yummy. But I could never digest that every single day. And after the first sugar rush, you crash very fast into reality and routine.

Once you find someone who could be your potato, bread, pasta or rice and you know they feel as nourished the same way with you, then I think that is how you know....

Heart Shaped Carrots Tutorial

Something cute I saw on Pinterest... It's the little touches that make a meal special. ♥

Engagement Party Cake

Today, we went to celebrate our very dear friend's engagement party. Our almost four year old kept on asking us who's birthday it was. We told him that his uncle Dan and future auntie Rebecca are getting married soon and that's what we are celebrating.

Me: "When family and friends are excited for two people who are about to get married and are attending a party before the wedding, we call that an engagement party".

Liam: "What does getting married mean?"

Me: "When those two people get married, on that day, they will make a promise to love each other forever in front of all their family and friends."

Liam: "What does promise mean?"

Me: "They will work very hard at taking care of each other, when they are happy or mad. They will learn how to share, listen to each other, take good care of each other and love each other so much. They will think about ways to make the other person happy every day. And they will promise to never give up trying. It is not always easy, but they will try and will promise to try. "

This was an acceptable answer enough to him. He remained quiet the entire car ride after that...As you can see, I didn't want to feed him the "Happy ever after" fairy tales lies and disillusions. I really wanted him to understand that it doesn't guarantee happiness but that it was a promise and that it required hard work to reach it. I hope that will give him solid foundation for his relationships later on. And I hope he asks me that question often so I can keep on telling him.... :)

Sharing a kitchen before getting married...

A very interesting article I wanted to share with you. Any thoughts?

Why Living Together Before Marriage Is A Bad Idea [Infographic]
Ashley Lutz | Jul. 13, 2012, 2:05 PM |

Proponents of cohabitation say that it gives couples a chance to try each other out before making a big commitment.

But studies show that couples who live together before marriage are less likely to be together 20 years later.

This infographic by MyMove.com and posted at visual.ly illustrates data from the Census and a University of Virginia marriage expert.

Check it out:

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/why-living-together-before-marriage-is-a-bad-idea-infographic-2012-7#ixzz20XtlPgOQ

A nice picnic, on a Sunday afternoon...

Pointillism is one of the painting techniques that I respect the most. I'm sure many of you will recognize this classic picture of George Seurat titled A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte. This painting is entirely made of pure colored dots applied in such ways to form this beautiful image. No lines at all, even though lines are, in fact, a series of dots disposed very closed to each other. When I admire this painting, it inspires me not only the respect for the complexity of the details and painting technique, but also for how it matches with my outlook on life, and what I pledge myself to live by. A multitude of dots, isolated, but together forming the big picture. Each dot enhancing the other, but each dot strongly impacting the entire picture. Before you wonder where I am going with this, here's my thought about life...

I remember one of my single female friends telling me how hard it was for her to enjoy a picnic at a park, when seeing all these happy families eating together, while she was still looking for love and dreaming of having children one day. She couldn't enjoy herself there, too busy comparing herself to everyone. I could sense some distress and her clock ticking, her fear of falling behind.  And I know she wasn't the only one who would see life as something linear, since that is what society conditions us to believe. Society dictates us a time line and a life path, where it is expected for everyone to finish school, find a mate, settle down, get married, purchase a home, raise children, while pursuing a solid career. Then comes the comparison between everyone on that time line. Who's ahead, behind, sideways...

I don't personally think anyone is ahead, or behind. Maybe just more comfortable in certain ways maybe. Well, at least not ahead physically or materialistically in the linear life path sense.

We are where we are, and accepting it and understanding our place is what makes our lives beautiful and meaningful. Like each color dot on that painting, everyone and everything has its place, and is instrumental in the large scheme of things.  Perhaps that is why I never understood or felt the "keeping up with the Joneses" inferiority complex and the fear of not fitting in. It is not important to compare ourselves with who's around us, because the only direction that matters, well, at least to me, is upward, towards the sky.

When we focus on elevating our minds, spirits and souls, working on bettering ourselves everyday, de-cluttering our minds, it does not matter anymore which peripheral direction we take. We cannot judge someone by where he or she is standing because everyone's journey to get where they got is so different, and personal. Converting jealousy and envy into inspiration. Seeing beauty in other's joys and empathy in other's misery.

To come back to my friend who constantly fears of falling behind, some may have been married for ten years already, compared to her, but during these ten years, she has lived other experiences that married people have been deprived of. I am not saying she is not allowed to dream or get frustrated they take too long to concretize, but I don't think not having what she wishes for, at that very instant, should ruin all the good that she has around and within herself. If our state of mind is unsatisfied, we can never be happy even with all the money and the strongest social status in the world. In the end, we are simply where we stand and we could stand still forever and still grow and evolve. Like mediation and introspection for example, they make us stop while furthering us with our mind and spirit, farther than our body and wallet can ever take us. 

There is a big difference between going "nowhere"and remaining still to assess our souls from time to time. Would we judge a monk or a priest for choosing the life they chose? They didn't "move forward" in the conventional sense; instead devoting their lives to religion and staying still in order to meditate or pray. They worked on their minds and hearts, making them grow stronger day by day. In the end, in my opinion, it is only how happy we are with ourselves and the rest of the world and how far upward we go that truly matters. It's not about direction, nor competition, but elevation and level of consciousness. Consciousness of ourselves, strengths, flaws and how we can contribute to our own lives. The world would be such a better place if everyone knew how to cook their own comfort food for their souls...

The Starbucks Experience...in your love life ♥

This is not a promotion campaign for Starbucks and they did not pay me to make this analogy...I simply could not come up with a  better comparison to make my point for this post...

So...What makes Starbucks so successful? How did they turn plain coffee that we are all familiar with and take for granted into such business phenomenon? The magic answer is "The Starbucks Experience".  They were able to convert what's ordinary into extraordinary.

Converting what's ordinary into extraordinary is key to happiness, I firmly believe. Not limited to your love life, but in every aspects of your life.  Everyday is filled with mundane tasks and obligations, but if you take the time to appreciate all what you have as blessings, you will discover how beautiful your life can be...

"Enjoy the little things in life...For one day, you'll look back and realize they were the big things. "

One morning, as I was preparing a bottle for my baby, tears ran down my face when I saw an unopened box of baby formula on our kitchen counter.  It made me cry because that morning,  I realized how caring my husband was (more caring than I already thought I knew), beyond the love and affection, but how he CONSTANTLY thinks of us all and is always ahead of us to fulfill our needs. Not only does he work hard, allowing me to stay home and raise both our sons, but he always makes sure we lack of nothing when he comes home. Day and night, he goes above and beyond to take care of us. The sight of that box of formula was just a reminder of his thoughtfulness and here's why:

I absolutely dislike digging into our unfinished and cold garage, where most our things are stocked...Knowing that, my dear husband always made sure HE was the one who went into the garage, everyday, to get everything we need: toilet paper, breakfast waffles, tissue boxes, baby formula etc...This could be mundane and no one would cry because of their husband's amazing stocking and inventory tracking capabilities...But it isn't about those skills solely. It's about his love for us. He did not HAVE to go in the garage all the time. But without us asking him, he goes and has been worrying about keeping track of everything so we wouldn't have to lack of anything. And he never failed on taking care of us and making us feel loved. And that, I am very grateful for. Amongst a million other things.

I have been taking for granted being able to enjoy watching all the same TV shows with my love. I did not know it wasn't common until I heard girls complain about it. Doing the grocery is so fun with my husband. I cannot explain why but it has always been something I deeply enjoyed with him. Pillow talk, waking up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom and realizing he's up as well, for the same reason, so I get another five minutes of awareness of him by my side, and kissing, half asleep, in the middle of the bathroom... All these simple things that fill out my heart and soul...You would say it doesn't take me much to appreciate things? I would then ask you, " Why do you need so much and why would anything else make you happier?"

Watching my husband dress up to go to work (delicious sight); realizing he's staring at me smiling when I thought I was alone doing something goofy; having him bring my glasses before I realize I left them in the kitchen before we get ready to watch our favorite show; him still waving at me when he's outside mowing the lawn, or out of the car pumping gas, like we used to do twelve years ago. Kiddish, you would say. Well, why not kiddish? Who else can you be that way with?

All these little attentions are the most valuable things in the world to me. It's not just about sex and attraction, it's about all the tiny little things. People notice all the tiny little things that annoy them. How about counting all the tiny little things that make you feel lucky, loved and appreciated?

Once again, turning what could pass for ordinary (because it is nothing but ordinary) into seeing it as extraordinary...

Sweet as honey glazed chicken...

As I was scooping some LoMein noodles at a Chinese buffet, I heard this woman elbowing a man by accident. She apologized very politely until she realized it was her husband. Than, her tone angrily changed to "Oh, it was JUST you!" and she became quickly annoyed he didn't look and wasn't more careful...

I thought it was sad that she would show more patience and tolerance with a complete stranger than with the man she married and fell in love with. Unfortunately, most everyone tend to take their loved ones for granted and sometime behave in a more civilized way with people they don't know. Shouldn't it be the other way around though? We should always remember to cherish our loved ones like on the first date. I think that's a good way to keep the mutual respect and admiration going. I say let's remain ladies and gentlemen especially at home!

We often hear that the absence of communication is what causes marriages to fall apart. I believe that a poor attitude and the tone of voice can be the culprits that plunge most relationships into silence. Because attitude triggers off attitude from the other person, it can easily lead to feelings of withdrawal and unhappiness. If our tone conveys an undercurrent of anger or frustration, sounds distracted or preoccupied, or is heavy with sarcasms, it will influence how others hear what we are saying and how they interpret our message. A misinterpretation, based on our tone, will garble the message, at best, or lead to a giant misunderstanding. The next time you speak to your partner (or anyone else in your life), take a moment to notice the way in which you speak. In the same turn, notice how others speak to you and what their tone communicates. The way you - and others - speak matters so much in relationships!!

Just some food for thoughts...

She says tomatoes, you say BEURK!

I have some friends who are so opinionated about their music and entertainment. They take so much pride in what they like and sometimes, to a point where they would purposely stop hanging out with someone just because that person doesn't share their same interest. I know a guy who strictly hangs out with musicians since he started playing the guitar. And he stopped calling his old best friend even though they used to have fun together, even without any music involved.

I think it's normal to favor people who have things in common with you and similar taste but only to a certain limit. When you become a snob about most things you like, that's where I have a problem. For instance, I don't understand why another friend I have needs to be such a donut hole about music. He's such a hipster about his music and discriminates and mocks anyone who enjoys mainstream sounds. And he wonders why he remains single. He eliminated more than half of single lady population just by the type of music they like to listen to.

I can already imagine this scenario: He starts seeing this girl, his dream girl, pretty as a rose, and she invites him to her apartment. She planned the entire evening, with candles and sexy lingerie. He's in awe when he sees her and cannot believe she wrapped herself like a chocolate box just for him. And then, she puts on some music with the intention of giving him a nice little sexy dance. Then he realizes it's Marvin Gaye he's hearing and he runs out of her apartment, completely turned off by her. Seriously, this friend I have is so serious about his music that he would completely miss out on a real romance opportunity for such a ludicrous reason. The sad part is that I am not even exaggerating.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. I just wished those people knew, when looking for love, how tiny and irrelevant it is in their relationship long term, as music changes all the time, but not their core values. They should look for people who love music since it is THAT important in their lives, but not reject someone just because they enjoy some old Madonna or Aerosmith...

Smart Food

Sparkling Water vs Spring Water

Sparkling water can surely add some fun fizz to our palate, but once the fizz is gone, all there is left is a tart-tasting water. Water is way more versatile, cleansing and quenching (as long as it being kept fresh).

I once heard a woman talking about her divorce and said "He was my best friend, but after being married for twenty plus years, the spark wasn't there anymore".

I don't think she tossed away two decades of great chemistry with her best friend solely over an absence of spark. If that is the case, 'tis a very sad ending for such a nice relationship. They most likely had deeper problems because, to divorce over a lack of sparks? Really? Does that mean that she would rather start all over with a stranger just for the spark and renounce on her "best friend"? Maybe he wasn't such a great friend after all...And when she refers to the spark, does she mean the physical attraction only?

Spring water, as dull as it may seem, is so quenching and just as strong, if not stronger. Instead of always trying to keep that initial spark, why not focus on transforming or molding the relationship together? How about keeping the relationship fresh like spring water by remaining connected, trusting and playful with each other? Sadly too often enough, people see the first crack on their water glass, but wait too long before addressing the problem, and let the water spill all over the place.

Sparks bring people together, but it is not what should keep them together. It is just the initial stage of love. Well at least, in my belief. "From a little spark bursts a mighty flame." Real love is the Art of mastering that mighty flame, keep it alive, and controlled so that all the emotions, strong or weak, are kept safe and channeled the proper way. Too much fire can burn the entire relationship in whole, and not enough fire can freeze the room, create a distance and make everything cold.

Sparkling or Spring Water, even when all the water seems to have disappeared, it simply changed its form and can return to water...It does not mean it is completely lost, especially when so much water had time to accumulate through time...

Pork Rib Tips

How do you keep your relationship solid, fulfilling, juicy and exciting the same way those Pork Rib Tips are to me? Here are some few tips I gathered, either from my own experience, and from talking with other couples:

Do not go to bed angry at each other. The issue does not have to be completely resolved but both of you have made peace and calmed down at the least, so it avoids waking up and feeling all awkward.

Have sex as often as you can...by that, I mean any form of intimacy. :)

Kiss passionately. After many years, some couples stop french kissing, which is unfortunate. Once in a while, kiss your lover passionately the way you did in the beginning.

Mean it when you say "I Love You" and express it with your body as well (hands, eyes, or hugging, smiling, cuddling etc). (I know this ones seems obvious to many but some take for granted that words are enough, without the intention or tenderness that comes with those words).

Love each other every single day as opposed to taking it for granted that it will last forever. Everyday will eventually lead to forever.

After a long stressful day at work, eat first, discuss later. It's hard to stay calm on an empty stomach ( he he, this one comes from my 84 year old sweet grandmother)

Hold hands when arguing...It helps to stay connected even when not agreeing.

Communicate your thoughts, fear, joys.

Be playful and imaginative with each other. Keep your love innocent and fearless.

Find a common hobby.

Share your food with each other.

Do not fear to take the risk to make the other one happy. You will hurt more from the lack of trying.

Do not point fingers when fighting and focus on resolving the issue with some real solutions.

Smile at your partner whenever your eyes meet.

Leave surprises in her or his lunch box.

Be grateful you have a partner and show it to her or him. Do not take your loved one for granted as you are truly blessed to have him or her by your side (assuming it's a healthy relationship of course).

Watch your tone as it can easily be misinterpreted.

Know your partner's needs and make it your mission to cater to them even if it will take a life time.

Romance is the Art of making your partner feel like the most special and desirable person in the world. Savor those moments during this journey of Love Catering.

Any tips you would like to share with us? I would LOVE to hear yours as we are constantly growing and perfecting the Art of Loving. :)

Settling with a burp :P

I often wonder why us humans need closure for everything. Life would be so much easier if we didn't need closure. Why is it so painful when a relationship ends abruptly or does not turn out the way we expected?

We seem to need closure as much as a baby needs to be burped. After a nice bonding time, whether that comforting milk turned sour or not, it won't sit well in the the stomach unless babies are burped. As we grow older, it seems like that need to be burped follows us all the way to our relationships...When we end a relationship with someone, the pain of losing that person does not sit well unless we throw up everything we need to say or resolve with that person, or settle with a pacific and satisfying "burp". (ok, I admit, this burping analogy is more than far fetched...but since I try to remain in a somewhat "food" theme...and of course, newborn care is so on my mind these days.... :P).

What is closure to you? We all want something different. To me, closure is when both people know why it has ended. There are no more questions to be asked and there isn't anything left to say. It is when you are comfortable as to how things ended and whether it hurts or not, you know the reason and understand it. To others, closure is leaving on good terms. I guess it all depends on the type of relationship you had with that person.

Do we ever have full closure though? Even when we end up confronting that person? So maybe in the end, we shouldn't need it so much. Everyone I know who are in pain (including me with some relationships) is because of that need for closure. I am getting better at learning to let go but it may take a lifetime to learn to be zen and really focus all my energy on more productive and enriching things. Closure is only great when both sides cooperate, but we cannot hold on to that need forever if it doesn't get resolved. We must find a way to let go and move on with our lives.

"You cannot reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk".

I hope this quote inspired you. :)

Catering our Love to Men :)

When you walk by a newsstand, you can see hot topics such as "50 ways to turn your man on", " how to make him fall for you" etc...but very rarely do you see "What men truly need in a relationship" (without the obvious sex aspect). After discovering for myself, from hearing guy friends and my own honey what they truly need to feel loved in a relationship, I came across this list that covers the main needs that our dear men want:


Need #1: Respect his judgment.

A man deeply needs the woman in his life to respect his knowledge, opinions and decisions. Show you respect him by calling on his knowledge in a given subject.

Need #2: Respect his abilities.

Men often need to figure things out for themselves and if they can, they feel like they’ve conquered something and are affirmed as men. So… next time he is trying to put together the new shelf from IKEA… don’t try to help him (unless he asks)!

Need #3: Respect in communication.

Try your hardest not to continually remind him of something he hasn’t done yet—or something he needs to do. Try to word your sentences in a way that doesn’t express disappointment.

Need #4: Respect in public.

The male ego is the most fragile thing on the planet. Try not to criticize him in public, put him down or even question his judgment in front of others.

Need #5: Respect in our assumptions.

Try not to jump to negative conclusions about him. Don’t assume the worst!

So next time you’re wishing he would tell you how much he loves you—remember that he desires respect equivalent to your desire!

Full Tummy

At WHAT point do we know that were are truly close to someone?

I am one of those who have flash chemistry with people, but that never was an indicator of closeness...I just open myself up easily and that often leads to an illusion of a true connection. But what really determines closeness? Is it the amount of years of friendship? The amount of things we know about that person? How much we told to this person? How many memories we built with this person? Is it about the most talking we do or more about the most experiences we share together? I could think of a friend that could correspond to each different question...but then again, I'd assume we'd be truly close if he or she felt the exact same way as well, which we don't always know necessarily. Some people I don't really consider my close friend, but I ended up being one of theirs. I thought relationships all had to be exactly reciprocal but I learned it wasn't the case.

Sometimes we invest a whole lot of energy on a person but we didn't mean the same thing to that person. I spent too much of my life trying to determine who is a better friend, but in the end, it's about how we feel during each circumstances with that friend and if they bring us positive energy during that time. Like I say often, people come and go and some return and never really left. What matters is that I am grateful for everyone who IS there, near or far, at the moment or silently present, but would show up at the right time. My friendship tummy is full and I feel so lucky to be this well surrounded. :)

Ice Cream Sundays and Cinnamon Pretzels ♥

It has been eleven years that we melt for each other like ice cream. Every Sunday, I dread being apart from him during an entire week and look forward to the week-end to spend all the quality time we can together. A lifetime does not even seem long enough to get to know each other and do what we need to do together. Some people would call it too fusional. We call it organic. :P It is easy to be together. It is harder when we are apart.

It is hard to believe that is has already been eight years of blissful marriage and eleven years since we first met. It has been eleven years that my life has completely changed and that I understand how it truly feels like to be loved in its purest form.

I have so much to be thankful for. I am deeply grateful for all those hours of pillow talk, watching him fall asleep or him watching me, and then getting twisted like a cinnamon pretzel all night and waking up by his love and warmth. I love how he felt like he was part of my family right away, from the first second I met him. I love how we still hold hands and kiss passionately. I love our comfortable silences, our eyes constantly smiling at each other whenever they meet. I love how we joke together, laugh together and even cry together. I love how we inspire each other to think, learn, share, create and grow. I love how no matter how deep asleep he is, he would hold me or kiss me in his sleep when he feels me getting closer to him. I love splitting every dessert with him until the last hot fudge drop. I love how we play music, dance and are playful together. I love doing mundane things like getting the groceries with him. I love commenting and making recurring inside jokes with him and how we finish each others sentences. I love how we still say thank you to every little attention we pay to each other. I love how I can be a little girl, a woman, a mother, a wife, a friend, a goofy dork or a sleazy temptress with him at any time. I love how we know to never hurt each other. I love how fresh it still feels, but how our souls seem to have known each other for eternity already. I love how even when we are apart, we are still together. I love our little cupcake we made together, the result of our tender love cake batter. But mostly, I absolutely am grateful to the Powers That Be for sending him to me.

Happy Wedding Anniversary and Happy Anniversary of the day we met to my dear husband, lover, father of my children and mostly, my best friend. ♥ ♥ ♥

Dog Cookies Treats

I can't help but cringe when I hear proud women gloat about how they've "trained" their men well. As if they were dogs or something. Perhaps they did end up with a dog. Or perhaps their man became dogs after being treated like one for too long. I like to believe people respond the way we treat them.

I take more pride in the fact that my dear husband does what he does because he enjoys doing it and that he does it out of his free will. He naturally thinks of calling to let us know where and what he's doing and to check up on us. He enjoys being a hands-on dad with our son. He thrives in becoming the best husband and father he can be for us and he does that because he values those notions. It is not the result of some manipulative technique, threat or power play and mind games.

I value rewarding positive behavior, but in my dictionary, it's called gratefulness. Not dog training. Perhaps I'm just stuck on different wording? You can imagine the look on my face when people see my husband help out with chores and kid care and tell me how well I trained him (shaking my head).

When there is some sort of disconnect in a relationship, it has nothing to do with whether one or the other has trained the person well or not, in order to remain satisfied and have all the expectations met. Both people need to want to do things for the other one, and wanting to be with that person should be motivating enough to make an effort to cater to that person. If let's say, the physical attraction isn't really there anymore, or if you would rather go to bed than spend some quality time with your love, it does not make him or her a bad person. When there is clearly a disconnect, both need to want to acknowledge there is a problem in order to find steps to fix it. A great shoe is a great shoe but can only go so far. It takes a full pair to move forward....

Secret Garden

When I was born, I was given a pile of dirt, like anyone else, and planted my dreams, hopes, and secrets in it. Some flowers, and some species I wasn't even aware I planted bloomed. Some shrubs and weeds grew without my consent but it's ok since the garden was kept a secret. It was important to keep it a secret, to preserve its beauty, its majesty, but also its flaws.

What happens when someone else steps into your secret garden? Will they dig it? Will they judge and perceive your favorite flower as a weed? Everyone has a secret garden but not many have a special person they can trust to walk in and out and not reveal its location.

To tell or not to tell everything to the person you love? Most people I know would say not to tell and find me foolish to tell everything to my husband. They are amazed that he tells me everything as well. What is there to hide? If it's sexual, wouldn't it be even greater if your partner knows exactly how to be that person you need him or her to be? And other important matter, shouldn't you share everything since every decision you make has a direct impact on the other and you chose to be a team after all? Through the bad and the worst.

I understand their ground though, those who still keep their garden a secret even to their close ones. I didn't share my secret garden to anyone, but then, I never had much problems opening up to people in the first place. I had a lot of flowers I wanted to share, and show, not that many secrets to bury. It's normal to want to keep our garden intact. It's extraordinary to be able to share that garden with someone, who wouldn't come step all over it, not respect its path and curves. It is extraordinary to have someone not only appreciate our garden, but helps it flourish, and helps gating it and keeping it safe from others who are looking for rarity. Until I met that person, I never thought it would be this pleasant to garden with someone. Now, our secret garden is even bigger and it is a true safe haven.

Recipe for Unconditional Love

"Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children."
- Rosaleen Dickson

Love and unconditional love are emotions that come from within, but also emotions that can be learned. I think when people don't understand how someone can "learn to love", they confuse it with physical attraction. Physical attraction is bred from chemistry, pheromones and instincts. Love can be born from physical attraction but also from empathy, and a deep eager for commitment to a person for many different reasons. In some countries, it doesn't even take love to commit to someone. Just the bind by itself can yield strong attachment, loyalty and feelings of devotion. Just like in the classic book The Little Prince written by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “ It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important".

Once we consciously make the decision to commit to a relationship, however it started, the key to success is to jump into the relationship with both feet in. From there, it becomes our sense of duty that kicks in. Our duty to make the relationship grow and last. Some people walk into a new relationship filled with entitlement rather than a sense of duty. "What can that person bring to me?" rather than "What can I bring to contribute to this relationship?".

A great example of entering into a relationship of unconditional love are adoption love stories:

My friend Geneviève for instance, she is the radiant mother on this dreamy family picture on the Beach (Isn't it amazing how little Simon looks like his adoptive parents?). After going through some hurdles trying to conceive naturally, Geneviève and her boyfriend weighed all their possible options, and the idea of adoption warmed their hearts. They knew that was where they were headed together. They were headed to a nice, warm journey of parenting and would be blessed later with their little Simon, from Colombia.

Like any scenario welcoming a new baby home, they've encountered their share of challenges, but nothing they could not overcome. Love happened right away and yet, they still had to work on bonding with the child. They all had to learn to adjust to this new change, bond and forge a line of trust. It did not take long to become this magnificent, happy family.

It takes very determined people to pursue the entire adoption process until the end along with fitting a perfect love match. They went through a thorough interview process in order to determine if they would be the perfect parents for little Simon. Not the other way around.
They walked into the relationship with a full commitment to love that kid unconditionally. It doesn't matter how the child is, or what he has to bring. They willingly chose and fought to be blessed with the presence of that child in their lives despite the fear of the unknown. And this is how choosing to love someone unconditionally is all about.

"To love isn't about having the same needs, but understanding each others needs in order to cater to them." -Davine

"Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it." - Belgicia Howell

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” -Lao Tzu