When your friends and family are surprised you can cook...

I'm a foodie who loves making people hungry. And I love making people happy. That is most likely the reason why food is my platform  of choice when trying to fulfill these passions of mine. :)

Funny (or is it sad?) that it is the people who are the closest (or semi-closest, since my husband doesn't apply to this rule, nor some of my very dear friends), that the people who know me the most are the ones who believe the least in me...When I started this blog, it was my closest friends who doubted me with a silent (or not so silent) reaction wondering what I could possibly be writing about.  I have many close friends, but I can count only two or three of them who actually visit this blog often to check for new updates. All the other ones have never read anything. They just like to assume they know everything they need to know about me already. All my most positive feedback come from complete strangers....Why is it that we would rather admire and support a complete stranger rather than someone from our circle of trusted people?

I guess the answer is that everyone wants to see us in their limited world view. My friends and family know me in a certain way and it would require too much energy to open their minds and discover other aspects of me. Well, eating at someone's house doesn't mean you know what's in their fridge...

Joss Whedon's TV show Dollhouse was interesting as it treated this topic: you are someone for everyone but inside you are nothing...Well, that's what people would want you to be to them, it seems like. We find people close to us as pathetic because we see some aspects of them and we judge them for it. We don't give a chance to see the other sides or not care to see those other sides. It is apparent that I am not the only person who has been doubted so this shouldn't stop me from doing what I enjoy doing the most: making others happy in the best of my capacity.

Have you ever found your friend's parents so cool while your friends rolled their eyes in shame when their parents crack a joke or did something to get your attention? Don't we all like to feel ashamed of our closed ones in public? A total stranger on the radio would say the very same thing and we'd be rolling on the floor laughing but when it's our father...Nah. Same thing for advice. I've been repeating the same love and relationship advice to some of my girlfriends, over and over. And one day, they'd come to me all excited because someone was so insightful and told them the exact same thing I've been telling them. Just because they are strangers...(*shaking my head*). We all choose our battles. I gave up on that one. I figure, if they want to hear me out, they will. I stopped wasting my time trying to "save" them, especially if they didn't want to be saved...at least not by me. We must have become so close that I became like family to them, and that came with their inconveniences...

What annoys me the most though is when I share a new project or idea with a close friend. Instead of showing any interest in my brewing ideas, they astutely point out how I love getting attention. Good job, my friend, at stating the obvious, but can we move on to my idea I'd like to share with you and get any sort of feedback? I wonder sometimes, whenever they go to the movie theater, if they spend the entire movie being annoyed that Hollywood stars crave for constant attention, or do they actually enjoy the movie and the work those stars and crew put into making this movie. Of course I enjoy the attention, but that is not the point.

Another example of becoming too close to someone, so close they don't seem to see you anymore: The other day, I was happily sharing my candor to a friend about some positive feedback I got from this blog and all she could say was "Oh..Mkay..People have some time to spare it seems like". Another friend kept on pointing out how weird this girl from college was for commenting constantly on my Facebook. Since we weren't close back in school, but now, we interact a lot online, my friend noticed it and thought she was so strange to do that all of sudden. Why strange? Can't she like me for the same reason my friend likes me? If she is my friend, why would it be strange that someone else discovers me later on, even if it's not in person? It makes me wonder sometimes...

It is much easier to inspire people you don't know than those who believe they know everything about you. But in all fairness, I tend to raise one eyebrow too, whenever someone I know well surprises me with something I wouldn't expect, coming from them...

She says tomatoes, you say BEURK!

I have some friends who are so opinionated about their music and entertainment. They take so much pride in what they like and sometimes, to a point where they would purposely stop hanging out with someone just because that person doesn't share their same interest. I know a guy who strictly hangs out with musicians since he started playing the guitar. And he stopped calling his old best friend even though they used to have fun together, even without any music involved.

I think it's normal to favor people who have things in common with you and similar taste but only to a certain limit. When you become a snob about most things you like, that's where I have a problem. For instance, I don't understand why another friend I have needs to be such a donut hole about music. He's such a hipster about his music and discriminates and mocks anyone who enjoys mainstream sounds. And he wonders why he remains single. He eliminated more than half of single lady population just by the type of music they like to listen to.

I can already imagine this scenario: He starts seeing this girl, his dream girl, pretty as a rose, and she invites him to her apartment. She planned the entire evening, with candles and sexy lingerie. He's in awe when he sees her and cannot believe she wrapped herself like a chocolate box just for him. And then, she puts on some music with the intention of giving him a nice little sexy dance. Then he realizes it's Marvin Gaye he's hearing and he runs out of her apartment, completely turned off by her. Seriously, this friend I have is so serious about his music that he would completely miss out on a real romance opportunity for such a ludicrous reason. The sad part is that I am not even exaggerating.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. I just wished those people knew, when looking for love, how tiny and irrelevant it is in their relationship long term, as music changes all the time, but not their core values. They should look for people who love music since it is THAT important in their lives, but not reject someone just because they enjoy some old Madonna or Aerosmith...

Tossing a baby like a pizza



I just had to share this outrageous video with you all...So apparently child abuse is acceptable as long as we call it baby yoga... Yea right...I cannot believe they toss those babies around like a pizza and all those moms line up and believe it's the best thing they can give to their babies. UNACCEPTABLE.

Full Tummy

At WHAT point do we know that were are truly close to someone?

I am one of those who have flash chemistry with people, but that never was an indicator of closeness...I just open myself up easily and that often leads to an illusion of a true connection. But what really determines closeness? Is it the amount of years of friendship? The amount of things we know about that person? How much we told to this person? How many memories we built with this person? Is it about the most talking we do or more about the most experiences we share together? I could think of a friend that could correspond to each different question...but then again, I'd assume we'd be truly close if he or she felt the exact same way as well, which we don't always know necessarily. Some people I don't really consider my close friend, but I ended up being one of theirs. I thought relationships all had to be exactly reciprocal but I learned it wasn't the case.

Sometimes we invest a whole lot of energy on a person but we didn't mean the same thing to that person. I spent too much of my life trying to determine who is a better friend, but in the end, it's about how we feel during each circumstances with that friend and if they bring us positive energy during that time. Like I say often, people come and go and some return and never really left. What matters is that I am grateful for everyone who IS there, near or far, at the moment or silently present, but would show up at the right time. My friendship tummy is full and I feel so lucky to be this well surrounded. :)

Dog Cookies Treats

I can't help but cringe when I hear proud women gloat about how they've "trained" their men well. As if they were dogs or something. Perhaps they did end up with a dog. Or perhaps their man became dogs after being treated like one for too long. I like to believe people respond the way we treat them.

I take more pride in the fact that my dear husband does what he does because he enjoys doing it and that he does it out of his free will. He naturally thinks of calling to let us know where and what he's doing and to check up on us. He enjoys being a hands-on dad with our son. He thrives in becoming the best husband and father he can be for us and he does that because he values those notions. It is not the result of some manipulative technique, threat or power play and mind games.

I value rewarding positive behavior, but in my dictionary, it's called gratefulness. Not dog training. Perhaps I'm just stuck on different wording? You can imagine the look on my face when people see my husband help out with chores and kid care and tell me how well I trained him (shaking my head).

When there is some sort of disconnect in a relationship, it has nothing to do with whether one or the other has trained the person well or not, in order to remain satisfied and have all the expectations met. Both people need to want to do things for the other one, and wanting to be with that person should be motivating enough to make an effort to cater to that person. If let's say, the physical attraction isn't really there anymore, or if you would rather go to bed than spend some quality time with your love, it does not make him or her a bad person. When there is clearly a disconnect, both need to want to acknowledge there is a problem in order to find steps to fix it. A great shoe is a great shoe but can only go so far. It takes a full pair to move forward....

That hamster...What a ham! ;)

Last week, I caught up with a good old friend from high school. She was that kind of friend who saw magic and created magic wherever she went. She sees people in a way that no one sees and saw me when I wouldn't dare look at myself in the mirror. Being a teenager was hard, but Elyssa made it easier for me to see what was in front of me. Passion. Magic. Dreams.

She is such a free spirit and I've always been inspired by her positive and warm energy. I think she was the first kindred soul I have crossed path with. As I was unraveling my current life hurdles and frustrations, and disappointment in certain people, she put a light on my foggy thoughts and gave me those kind words of wisdom: " When you don't understand someone, just think of that person as a hamster. Another entity, or creature so different from you that you cannot have any expectations anymore. They do what they do because they are hamsters. It is in their nature. That is all. " So I now see my world filled with hamsters....and as a wombat, I must sit back and embrace the marvels of Mother Nature....

Cold as ice

This is the picture of one of Andy Goldsworthy's greatest masterpiece: his signature arch made of ice. He is one of my favorite artists. He devotes such energy and time to create out of Mother Nature, the most ephemeral piece of Art, and then captures them in photo.

Ice. Beautiful. COLD. From afar, ice is majestic. Ice is part of those beauties that are meant to be admired from a distance. I don't understand cold people. Those who don't seem to care about others and their feelings. I tend to forget to keep my distance with people who are "ice" in my life.
They are intriguing, beautiful, complex but I clearly cannot expect any warmth from them. I tend to forget that. They are only good for chilling, for fun. Nothing serious. I get too close to them and they morph into a drowning game of unsatisfied needs and I find myself all wet with my own tears. This is just a self-reminder to stay away from icy people. Enough skating through awkward situations, and attempting to keep my balance on ice. You can't be friends with ice.

Spoons & Chopsticks

I love nap time. Nap time means "me" time so I can shower, write on my blog, get some work or cleaning done or even better, get some rest. Nap time means resetting the day when I had a cranky toddler in the morning.

Nap time is at its best when I get to nap with my husband. We get all tangled like a pretzel and pass out in a mist of warmth and trust. We do not care who is the big spoon or the little spoon (even though I do love being the little spoon). We never cared about spoons. I know some girls who really make a big deal about the man having to always be the big spoon, meaning he ALWAYS has to be behind, while hugging them. What if their arms fall asleep? Would they rather stay uncomfortable just to preserve this "manly" image (even though no one else is in their bedroom...or shouldn't be...). Does this rule means that if their man turns the other way, ladies are not allowed to hug their man as it would alter their masculinity?

My husband and I aren't spoons. We are chopsticks: side by side, the same size, with equal love and snug from both sides...:P