Soul Pancake: What does Love look like to YOU?

 ( Go get your tissue box). LOVED this video. <3

Fancy Truffles

Oh those fancy truffles. They fascinate me, whenever I walk by them, locked in a glass box  displayed on rice grains or some kind of hay, for fine appreciative gourmet palates. If they weren't labeled properly, they could easily pass for a pile of poop that can cost up to $2,000 per pound..

I strangely had too many occurrences of people seeing me as poop when I was in fact...a person? :P

For a very short period of time ( not short enough for me, in retrospect), back in college, I was "seeing" this guy who simply refused to acknowledge who I was. ( "Who are you???" I can hear you ask that after reading this. Well, definitely NOT JUST what he thought I was. lol). He could not get pass my ethnicity because he sort of had an Asian girl fetish. I'm not saying that it was all he was into, but he seemed to have a bucket list of things and people to conquer before he died and "Asian girl" must have been on that list. It did not matter what I liked and was passionate about. He would treat me the way he thought and expected all stereotypical Asian girls should think and behave. He didn't even see a tiny bit of my personality, which amazes me since I'm not the quiet and shy kind of person. I made our platonic back and forth last longer than it should just out of curiosity and boredom, I presume. At that age, I was so hungry about learning and discovering myself, and despite the fact that I knew it was clearly going to end absolutely nowhere decent, I still hung out with him to try to understand what was going on in his head. It was obviously a waste of time since in the end, all he was was a complete delusional manipulator. He treated me like poop while I had more layers to me ( clothing AND in the multi-dimension meta sort of speech). I could have been explored at a higher level of curiosity, like those fancy truffles. But it was easier for him to just believe I was easy poop for him to check off his list. I'm not saying I'm fancy like those truffles, but I have definitely more than meets the eye. All this guy cared about what my squinty "not so squinty" eyes. Thankfully I didn't give him any satisfaction so unless he scored an Asian girl after me, that little box on his list is still unchecked. *DEEP SIGH*.

Another example was back when I was working at my parent's convenience store. Our customers just assumed that my family was probably struggling, stranded in long retail hours. They made so many assumptions ( let me specify that it was a very rough neighborhood). They assumed we weren't educated or were poor (we weren't rich, but definitely not poor). They assumed that I would spend my entire life stuck in that store and would take over later on and never go to College. They clearly did not know my family history and why we were doing what we were doing, which we had no interest in sharing with them anyways. The few who discovered we lived in a nice family single home in the suburbs, while both my brother and I attended private schools since our early ages seemed in ultimate shock. It's also funny how many assume that immigrants move to America by choice to pursue the American Dream. My family were living the Asian dream before it all went to hell...They were forced to flee their country and start back from square one and rebuild themselves.

All of these situations above, I could see why that dude and our customers would treat me and family that way, based on sad stereotypes. But my last example is what shockes me the most.

I had this friend who lived near our house and I thought we were getting pretty close. Her self-confidence has always been the lowest but I never thought she wanted to become my friend thinking I was like her. (I am not judging people with low self-esteem, just acknowledging how it could become a problem, but I believe being a very confident person overall).  I hear "misery loves company" but that is accurate if misery accurately identified another misery. In our case, I think she has mistaken me with a another potential sad person who could relate to her. I did care about her though a lot, back then, and really wished her confidence level would boost up. She was a good friend for most times, despite strange things she would say and do at times. But here is what happened last year, when it all went down:

Last year, I got very ill. And my husband just found out the very same week that his company was laying of hundreds of employees and his departement would be affected. They gave him four months to seek elsewhere for a new job, after working there for eleven years. I went and sought comfort in my friend and shared with her all my worries and mentioned dramatically how I didn't want to become homeless. We only had one income, and I was expecting another baby on the way. A good friend would have said "Don't talk silly. Hubby will find a job since his resume is so rock solid" or "You guys will be fine" out of comfort or encouragement. Instead this is what she responded to me "Oh Davine, I would still come visit you if you were homeless" Oh, how generous of you, I thought. < insert sarcasm here>. She said and did plenty of other strange things, but I am not going to detail it all on this single post...

And then, our lives turned around miraculously and my health problems became quickly part of the past. My dear hubby landed on his feet and found a new and even more stimulating job, as we discovered he was underpaid this entire time. So it was a blessing in disguise and we built a new house and moved into a lovely new neighborhood. I have not heard from this friend since. A little bit in the beginning, when we just moved. She made flaky plans that always fell through. But now, she is gone completely. I'm not sure if this case was a poop vs truffle situation, but she clearly couldn't handle going from the person who would come visit me, without a home,  to the one realizing we were ok finally and are actually at our happiest now. I could almost feel her being bitter about it, when I thought she would be happy for us, as a real friend should.

I will not complain about being perceived as poop though. Better than the other way around where people could think I'm truffle but finally decide I'm poop....

Hearty Beef Stew

It is that time of the year again, when I start noticing steamy smoke coming out of my mouth as my world appears to frost all around me. I surprised hearing myself saying more than I should, regretting words that I said because of feeling invisible in Siberia, and craving warmth from my dearest friends and family. It is that time of the year when I become homesick and the urge of recreating what I once called "home"  are consuming me whole...

While I was demonstrating to my four year old how to pace himself with his hot boiling beef stew, it suddenly hit me that I was myself scarfing down the food, and that he probably mimicked that bad habit from watching me. And then, I realized I was not only rushing and not taking the time to wait for my soup to cool off, I also did not take the appropriate time to enjoy the warmth of each spoonful of all the things I had to be thankful for, and bolted throughout copious areas of my life.

It seemed that the illness which troubled me last year has implanted a sort of cooking timer in my heart, as if I was going to run out of time. I have been rushing since, rushing to finally start this book I always dreamed of writing, rushing to find deeper and deeper purpose and meaning to my life, and mostly, rushing into my relationships, new and old. I found myself opening too much and too fast to new people, as if I was speed dating and only had five minutes to show them my character in the hope that there will be a match. And all these new social media platforms such as Facebook give you the illusion that you know or connect with someone by discovering things and reading thoughts that would normally never be revealed this soon and out of any context. We are all knowing too much yet, still learn too little.  All of this overwhelming amount of virtual love combined with resentment towards those who really been loving me but didn't "support me in public" have been fogging my world view and perception of who truly cares and what type of relationships we were having.  As much as I am thankful for all the old friends I have reconnected with, it also made me very confused and vulnerable to being too exposed and exposing myself too much to certain people who ended up not worthy of my devoted friendly attentions.

I am now making this vow to myself in taking mindful slow steps, breathing through my emotions and perceptions when getting to know someone and embracing the natural pace of any bond that comes along with any new person I encounter. Strangely, I was much wiser when finding true love and not rushing into any relationships but I didn't apply those same rules when it came to making new friends.

For those who hurt me, I will let things simmer. From now on, I will choose to only surround myself with those who want to truly spend time with me, and perhaps, one day, we will grow a bond that will allow us to simply enjoy each other's company in the most mutual, comfortable and comforting way. There is nothing more true and pure than being able to have comfortable silences with a friend, even from a distance.

My dear old friends who know me inside out, I miss our comfortable silences. I also miss being able to be different from you without compromising our trust in each other. I miss feeling needed and never having to come up with an excuse to see each other. I miss being with you because you enjoyed my company, laughing hysterically together, exchanging thoughts and ideologies while savoring new flavors together for hours without looking at the time. I did not realize how scarce this type of exchange would become as I grow older, and as people are more weary of their time spent...Because never before I would have thought someone would not want to come see me because they weren't in the mood for what I was about to cook for them, when it was really all about spending time together in the first place...

New home, new kitchen :)

Here we are, finally all moved into our new house . Sold our townhouse after eight days on the market and we were lucky enough to be able to rent back for about three months, while we waited until our new house was built. Our three year old had a great experience, learning each step of the process of building a house, and watching it evolve, from breaking ground to the finishing touches. The move went smoothly, and we got help from our family. Once we finally moved, it barely took us one day to already feel right at home. On our very first day, we were greeted by neighbors with scrumptious cupcakes and created new friendships in the blink of the eye. We invited them in, and they hung out at our place and the spark was instant. I fell in love, once again, and not only with my husband and kids, but with this new love nest, our new home that we built and selected from start to finish.

This will be the second house we have built and completely catered to our taste and needs. A brand new house, like a blank canvas, allowing us the selection of all our features and design. I couldn't ask for more. I really believe this is our dream house and the one where our family will settle in for a very long time. I cannot wait to watch my boys grow in it and build so many new memories in this house. But what is the most amazing is that even though we were able to select everything, from picking our lot to each little cabinet knob, we never would have been able to predict who would live next door to us.

I have to say, my mind is blown by how friendly everyone is in our new neighborhood. We landed on a gold mine filled with stimulating and fun people with interesting hobbies, talents and interests. We already hung out several times, went shopping and spent quality family times all together. Everyone is young, friendly, and with same age kids. I couldn't have dreamed it better. :D

Ice cream parfait


I was born in 1979, but it was only in the year 2000 when I finally truly felt alive. That was the year I met Komar. The very instant I saw him, his eyes quietly told me that from that point on, I wasn't alone anymore. I was finally understood, and most amazingly, I was blessed with his unconditional love. The kind of love that we have is so special, I have a hard time finding the right words to describe it. It is magical, musical, poetic, innocent and pure yet, so strong and responsible. It is amazing to wake up every single day with such passion in our hearts to live up to what we see in each other. I believe in him. He believes in me. We support each other through every challenge and bliss that life throws at us and our love never cease to grow, day by day. Twelve years ago, I knew, and today, I still know. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He allowed me to transform, and be who I always wanted to be and will be. Nine years ago, on the same date when we first met, we got married and we promised to each other, in front of the entire world, that we would not only love each other forever, but we would love each other every day. There was not one single day, nor moment, where I didn't feel his love. I feel so grateful for this kind of love, and for the beautiful children that we have created together. I love my children unconditionally, and even more because when I look at them, I see him. Happy Anniversaries to the man I love, my best friend, truly. There is nowhere I want to be, except right by him, every day, forever.  ♥ ♥ ♥

When your friends and family are surprised you can cook...

I'm a foodie who loves making people hungry. And I love making people happy. That is most likely the reason why food is my platform  of choice when trying to fulfill these passions of mine. :)

Funny (or is it sad?) that it is the people who are the closest (or semi-closest, since my husband doesn't apply to this rule, nor some of my very dear friends), that the people who know me the most are the ones who believe the least in me...When I started this blog, it was my closest friends who doubted me with a silent (or not so silent) reaction wondering what I could possibly be writing about.  I have many close friends, but I can count only two or three of them who actually visit this blog often to check for new updates. All the other ones have never read anything. They just like to assume they know everything they need to know about me already. All my most positive feedback come from complete strangers....Why is it that we would rather admire and support a complete stranger rather than someone from our circle of trusted people?

I guess the answer is that everyone wants to see us in their limited world view. My friends and family know me in a certain way and it would require too much energy to open their minds and discover other aspects of me. Well, eating at someone's house doesn't mean you know what's in their fridge...

Joss Whedon's TV show Dollhouse was interesting as it treated this topic: you are someone for everyone but inside you are nothing...Well, that's what people would want you to be to them, it seems like. We find people close to us as pathetic because we see some aspects of them and we judge them for it. We don't give a chance to see the other sides or not care to see those other sides. It is apparent that I am not the only person who has been doubted so this shouldn't stop me from doing what I enjoy doing the most: making others happy in the best of my capacity.

Have you ever found your friend's parents so cool while your friends rolled their eyes in shame when their parents crack a joke or did something to get your attention? Don't we all like to feel ashamed of our closed ones in public? A total stranger on the radio would say the very same thing and we'd be rolling on the floor laughing but when it's our father...Nah. Same thing for advice. I've been repeating the same love and relationship advice to some of my girlfriends, over and over. And one day, they'd come to me all excited because someone was so insightful and told them the exact same thing I've been telling them. Just because they are strangers...(*shaking my head*). We all choose our battles. I gave up on that one. I figure, if they want to hear me out, they will. I stopped wasting my time trying to "save" them, especially if they didn't want to be saved...at least not by me. We must have become so close that I became like family to them, and that came with their inconveniences...

What annoys me the most though is when I share a new project or idea with a close friend. Instead of showing any interest in my brewing ideas, they astutely point out how I love getting attention. Good job, my friend, at stating the obvious, but can we move on to my idea I'd like to share with you and get any sort of feedback? I wonder sometimes, whenever they go to the movie theater, if they spend the entire movie being annoyed that Hollywood stars crave for constant attention, or do they actually enjoy the movie and the work those stars and crew put into making this movie. Of course I enjoy the attention, but that is not the point.

Another example of becoming too close to someone, so close they don't seem to see you anymore: The other day, I was happily sharing my candor to a friend about some positive feedback I got from this blog and all she could say was "Oh..Mkay..People have some time to spare it seems like". Another friend kept on pointing out how weird this girl from college was for commenting constantly on my Facebook. Since we weren't close back in school, but now, we interact a lot online, my friend noticed it and thought she was so strange to do that all of sudden. Why strange? Can't she like me for the same reason my friend likes me? If she is my friend, why would it be strange that someone else discovers me later on, even if it's not in person? It makes me wonder sometimes...

It is much easier to inspire people you don't know than those who believe they know everything about you. But in all fairness, I tend to raise one eyebrow too, whenever someone I know well surprises me with something I wouldn't expect, coming from them...

Smart Food

Crushed Bones in the Grand Canyon...

I was talking with a good old friend when she asked me, "At what point did you know he fell in love you? Like, truly loved you?". How do you know?

And so I asked him. This is how our conversation went:

- When did you know you fell in love with me?

- I think when I waited for you while you were at your friend's wedding. It seemed like the longest time ever and I kept on yearning for your return. Then I knew something was brewing.

- It wasn't later when you took care of me while I had my wisdom teeth removed?

-No. I fell for you a LONG time ago. By that point, I fell for you for so long that my bones were already crushed in a huge ditch by then...like in the Grand Canyon! :P

Well, that was when I really realized he was here to stay. When I got my wisdom teeth removed, we were dating for about a year already and he flew up to Montreal to be by my side. I was at the pharmacy and my mouth was so numb, I couldn't feel I was drooling while waiting for my prescription. People were giving me weird looks but he didn't hesitate to clean me up without being disgusted. That was when I thought to myself, "Wow, he really loves me. This is so not romantic but he is willing to wipe me and still look at me like I was the cutest thing". I, then, knew we'd grow old together.

I knew I madly loved him from the day I realized I could not go by a day without talking or hearing from him. :) How about you? What is your story?

Ice Cream Sundays and Cinnamon Pretzels ♥

It has been eleven years that we melt for each other like ice cream. Every Sunday, I dread being apart from him during an entire week and look forward to the week-end to spend all the quality time we can together. A lifetime does not even seem long enough to get to know each other and do what we need to do together. Some people would call it too fusional. We call it organic. :P It is easy to be together. It is harder when we are apart.

It is hard to believe that is has already been eight years of blissful marriage and eleven years since we first met. It has been eleven years that my life has completely changed and that I understand how it truly feels like to be loved in its purest form.

I have so much to be thankful for. I am deeply grateful for all those hours of pillow talk, watching him fall asleep or him watching me, and then getting twisted like a cinnamon pretzel all night and waking up by his love and warmth. I love how he felt like he was part of my family right away, from the first second I met him. I love how we still hold hands and kiss passionately. I love our comfortable silences, our eyes constantly smiling at each other whenever they meet. I love how we joke together, laugh together and even cry together. I love how we inspire each other to think, learn, share, create and grow. I love how no matter how deep asleep he is, he would hold me or kiss me in his sleep when he feels me getting closer to him. I love splitting every dessert with him until the last hot fudge drop. I love how we play music, dance and are playful together. I love doing mundane things like getting the groceries with him. I love commenting and making recurring inside jokes with him and how we finish each others sentences. I love how we still say thank you to every little attention we pay to each other. I love how I can be a little girl, a woman, a mother, a wife, a friend, a goofy dork or a sleazy temptress with him at any time. I love how we know to never hurt each other. I love how fresh it still feels, but how our souls seem to have known each other for eternity already. I love how even when we are apart, we are still together. I love our little cupcake we made together, the result of our tender love cake batter. But mostly, I absolutely am grateful to the Powers That Be for sending him to me.

Happy Wedding Anniversary and Happy Anniversary of the day we met to my dear husband, lover, father of my children and mostly, my best friend. ♥ ♥ ♥

Celestial Shredded Wheat

Have you ever driven on a country road and notice those huge shredded wheat that must have fallen from the sky? (That's what I liked to believe at least)...I first had the chance to admire those rolled up hay back in 2003, when I just moved to this area. They bring so much peace to my heart and I can't help but smile whenever we drive by them. They would lay there, a whole bunch of them in such a graceful and artistic way, scattered all over a beautiful green field and sometimes, there were cows nearby, just to add even more charm to the landscape. I always thought, along with the cows, that they were the closest to the freshest cereal bowl they can be. Fresh milked cows with gigantic shredded wheat. I digress...but since it's Spring again, and they were back out, I thought I could share my amazement with you all. :)

Sweet Times

It's that time of the year again, where sweet maple syrup delights are taking over my Montreal folk's Facebook photo albums. And it's that same time of the year where I torture myself clicking on each sweet maple photo drooling and wishing I could join the glucose madness, instead of dreaming about it, here in Washington D.C. This delicious syrup has been a stable of the Quebecois diet for hundreds and hundreds of years and each spring, hundreds of sugar-loving sap alchemists disappear into shacks on their maple plantations to render the year's crop of maple syrup.

It has been a decade since I haven't set foot in a rustic sugar shack. I miss those Pocahontas moments I used to have, where I was so grateful to Mother Nature for blessing us with those sumptuous giving maple trees. I did feel like I could paint with all the colors of the wind (probably the sugar high did this to me). All these fond memories of the sugar shack. I felt like it was my way to feel like a true Québécoise.

Our schools used to take us to the sugar shack every year on a field trip. It was by far, one of my ultimate favorite field trips as a kid. I got to visit those little log shacks, take a nice long hike in the woods and ride on the hay ride around the site. Without mentioning the succulent sweet and salty feast : thick slices of maple Canadian ham, baked beans, gigantic omelets, pancakes, tourtière (Canadian meat pie), deep fried pork rinds called "oreilles de Christ" ( The Christ's Ears...perhaps because they are so melty, salty and decadently good you invoke him while savoring them?), pickled beets, Creton (a savory meat spread), split pea and bacon soup, and all the crazy desserts with guess which key element in it? Maple Syrup.

We would eat as if it was Thanksgiving or Christmas again, reassuring ourselves that we would end up digesting it while hiking in the woods or even better, while dancing afterwards, at the disco area in the shack itself. I couldn't be happier: a dance floor with upbeat 80's and early 90's music after a sumptuous sweet meal and my little school crush of that year right across from the room. How many years in a row did I daydream he'd ask me for a dance...

And to top it all, the field trip always ended with the tasting of the famous "Tire", which was boiling thick gooey maple syrup laid on a bed of snow. We would have to use a popsicle stick to pick it up and roll it around the stick to savor this delicious frozen maple lollipop. I was in maple heaven! Those were definitely sweet times. I look forward to bringing my little family to enjoy this spring tradition one day...

Tortino Cioccolato

It's been a while...I felt like I needed to live more and write less for a few weeks.

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's Day last week. Mine was so magical that I had to take a moment to gather all my thoughts together for my upcoming posts.

Even though it should be Valentine's Day every single day, we do love to celebrate that day dedicated to LOVE. And this year was our tenth Valentine we celebrated, Komar and I. I must say, it has been such a long time where I haven't been thrown out of my culinary comfort zone. Food shocks are such memorable times for me and all that week-end, a sublime mix of a tingly palette, excited taste buds and curled toes were on the menu. (ok, that could sound pretty disgusting....). lol. One word: wow.

The week prior, I watched Bizzarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. That episode took place in Venice and I was drooling and so wished I

was there with him, savoring those fresh Venetian grilled and marinated octopus and dishes simmered in squid ink. I have tasted many exotic dishes but never have I tried squid ink. It was definitely on my bucket list as far as food adventures.

So we ended at this charming Italian restaurant, in Historic Downtown Leesburg, called Palio. The menu du jour was featuring a grilled octopus salad on baby arugula. I ordered it expecting a little salad with calamari like salad. This is what I got instead:

A gigantic delicious marinated and grilled octopus, just like on the Bizzarre Foods! The one I so wanted to eat. And it did not stop. Everything I ordered left me with my mouth and eyes wide opened. So many surprises. The kind that make me feel like I'm traveling. And the timing as well. I didn't expect finding any restaurant offering such authentic dishes in this area. I was in love and in food heaven.

I even got to taste freshly made linguini cooked in squid ink that day too. And to top it all, the dessert was to die for: Tortino Cioccolato. Warm chocolate cake, Vanilla Gelato, extra virgin olive oil, sea salt. My eyes got so wide opened after the first bite. If that doesn't put you in a good mood, I don't know what will....

Discovering new food, or anything new with Komar is amazing. He is the best partner for that. We ended the evening at a pub and got to hear a friend play live with his band. What a night....and...What a week-end...and mostly....What a man! Sigh.

Spoons & Chopsticks

I love nap time. Nap time means "me" time so I can shower, write on my blog, get some work or cleaning done or even better, get some rest. Nap time means resetting the day when I had a cranky toddler in the morning.

Nap time is at its best when I get to nap with my husband. We get all tangled like a pretzel and pass out in a mist of warmth and trust. We do not care who is the big spoon or the little spoon (even though I do love being the little spoon). We never cared about spoons. I know some girls who really make a big deal about the man having to always be the big spoon, meaning he ALWAYS has to be behind, while hugging them. What if their arms fall asleep? Would they rather stay uncomfortable just to preserve this "manly" image (even though no one else is in their bedroom...or shouldn't be...). Does this rule means that if their man turns the other way, ladies are not allowed to hug their man as it would alter their masculinity?

My husband and I aren't spoons. We are chopsticks: side by side, the same size, with equal love and snug from both sides...:P

Just one potato chip...

Have you ever tried eating just one potato chip? I think this is nearly impossible. I have more faith in knowing that everyone has a soul mate somewhere in the world than believing someone can stop at one potato chip. :P

A few weeks ago, a friend teased my taste buds when making me discover some Kettle potato chips dipped in homemade Ranch and Sour Cream. It was so heavenly bad for me! I remained polite and only grabbed two chips. She stored the Ranch dip back in the fridge but you should have seen the look on my face when it went away. I so wished I could have licked the entire Sour Cream cup that day...
You know what else is just like potato chips? Pillow talk. I LOVE pillow talk. It is actually one of the highlights of my day. It feels like a sleepover each time, just like when I was a child and I would have a friend overnight.
Perhaps it's the fact that we're in the dark and we're supposed to be sleeping. I could have talked to my husband all day, but during the day, it's often about what's for dinner, or what our little toddler did or said. During dinner time, we talk about how our day went, but when the night comes and he turns the light switch off, all of a sudden, a million thoughts come through our minds and that's where all the communication fun and exchange begin. The only problem (just like a Potato Chip bag while dieting,) once we open a conversation, it is hard to keep it short and really try to sleep. We could talk for hours and next thing you know...it is already past 1 am...

Moêt Chandon Nectar Impérial and Brotherhood

Today is the 1.1.11 and at 11hr11 pm, we decided to make a wish...actually, I made eleven wishes, in the spirit of the "ones"and all the ones I love. We celebrated New Year's Eve with my husband's best friend and other friends stopped by during the evening. We popped a Moêt Chandon Nectar Impérial Champagne and watched 2010 leave through the fireworks while my little taste buds were savoring every single drop of this new Champagne discovery. What a sweet nectar and what a great midnight kiss.

After a couple of stressful weeks we had, the year ended very gracefully. That same night, I found out my dear grandmother was released from the hospital. She was able to spend New Year's Eve at home with my family. I couldn't have asked for more.

The year ending means resolutions. One of my biggest resolution is to finally start working on a device that would send a radar or signal notifying me that a person is not worth my time. I don't think that gadget exists yet and I am betting I could make a fortune with it. How often did you invest into a relationship after finding out, sometime ten years later, that you didn't mean as much to the other person? My machine would be able to detect heart rate as they declare or profess their love to me and would make a correlation with their level of needs and true intentions. That way, everyone will know right off hand when the friendship meter is too low...

I have this absolute fascination and admiration for brotherhood. The loyalty and camaraderie between men is the type of friendship I truly yearn for. I thought for a while that I must be simply too romantic, and that it leaked outside of my intimate relationship with my husband and that I was so romantic I even needed this level of intensity and dedication from my friends for instance. But then, I thought about brotherhood. I grew up witnessing brotherhood, watching my older brother and his friends. Friendship amongst men seems so much simpler to me and is the closest to my ideal of friendship. They don't have the need to talk or disclose everything all the time, judge each other on a personal level. They simply enjoy each others company, find a concrete activity they commonly share and when the important times comes where a true friend is needed ( like helping to move, or being the Best man at a wedding), they simply show up and play their respective role of the good friend. I look at my husband and his best friend for example. They have a very low maintenance relationship but they are always there for each other and I see they can always rely on each other when help is needed. They don't talk much but they are all about actions. No drama. No games. Pure camaraderie and mutual respect. So simple and refreshing. When they meet, it's to share a concrete activity that they enjoy and they are loyal to each other and return favors to each other.

Sorting a relationship with a lover is also much simpler to me than figuring out where I am at with my female friends ( I didn't say less painful though but at least, you can gauge and end the relationship when it doesn't turn out the way you want it sooner) . When dating someone, it is more natural to try to find out where the relationship is going, what are the common goals and all. If some of my friends were men, they would have been long gone if it was in a dating setting. But in a friendship, it becomes trickier. And then, there are labels or non-existing labels. When relationship labels are made, they create expectations. Sometimes labels worsen the end goal, especially when declared too soon. Right now, I also wish I made a machine that also prints out labels for each of my friends, so I know how to act accordingly, and what to expect from each of them. At the same time, some already had labels but they were declared too soon due to lack of maturity and dragged for so long I can't remove the sticker anymore...My intensity and passion for relationships is often left malnourished but I will not stop embracing this passion. What I will do, however, is to better chose who to devote this passion to. To me, we are born and one day, we die. In between, it is about whose lives we have an impact on, who is helping us grow during this journey of life and how we will be remembered. I will simply have to stop devoting this love to people who don't share the same level of friendship dedication as me and that is truly my 2011 Resolution.

"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." -David Russell

Making a toast to all my true good people out there who have been there for me, to all the new relationships that I celebrate and embrace, and to everyone else who are passionate about the Art of loving and relationships.

Happy New Year and Best Wishes for 2011.

The Delicious Diet

My little cousin was around three years old when I had to watch her for a couple of hours, while I was visiting her family in the D.C area. Her mother had left dinner in the fridge for us but little Kelly didn't want to eat it and requested a grilled cheese instead. Back then, as oddly as it may sound, I never had nor made a grilled cheese before. I asked her what made a grilled cheese a grilled cheese and understood it was a simple melted cheese sandwich. My lazy teenager self didn't feel like doing extra dishes so I popped a toasted cheese sandwich in the microwave to melt the cheese. She seemed happy. It looked like a grilled cheese. She ate nearly half of it. I was proud I could take care of her and when I asked her how it was, that tiny little three year old responded : " It's not delicious". She already knew what delicious was. Tee hee hee.
I often think about that moment when I get into a food binge. I remember that little voice saying " It's not delicious" and it makes me pause, and take a look at this bite I was about to devour and ask myself " is it delicious?". Most of the time, it's good, satisfying but not to the point I would say delicious. What if I would only eat delicious things? If it's not delicious, I would just eat a little, even when I'm really hungry and truly focus on eating what is truly delicious...perhaps I would loose weight and it wouldn't really be a diet but more of a "lifestyle"...
And then, I thought about my relationships. I have many great relationships I really cherish, but sometimes, I feel like it's rather leaning on the quantity rather on quality...and quality, it all depends on point of view, expectations and definitions... Are most of my relationships purely delicious to me? Some are delicious, others are good, some old, some fresh, some stale, and not too many bitter ones but I could still munch on them all. The people are all delicious to me, but it does not mean it translates in the actual relationship. My marriage is truly delicious and now, I would love to find some magic ingredients to season my other hearty and warm relationships into something even more delicious. :)

Recipe of Friendship

Let me see if you like it or not..

Name of the dish: ‘FRIENDSHIP’.
Ingredients:
2 table spoons of TRUST.The most essential ingredient without which the recipe is a complete failure.
1 full cup of SELFLESSNESS — The less this ingredient(which should be in liquid state) in your recipe,the more is the chance of spoiling it.
1 and a half table spoon each of CARE and AFFECTION.

1 table spoon of LOYALTY
1 table spoon each of SINCERITY and UNDERSTANDING both of which are very very important for the dish to be successful.

Take all the ingredients and pour the ingredient selflessness into it and mix it evenly and sprinkle the ingredient “I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU” all over the dish. Don't forget to use a "FUN and COMFORTABLE SILENCES" safe oven dish to bake it in.

–Dont even get SPICES like arrogance,selfishness and possessiveness in the vicinity because they are prone to spoil the recipe forever!!

TaDaaaaaa!!!!!! There you go!!

When we got married seven years ago, we promised not to love each other forever, but every single day....
I truly feel that Komar is my soulmate. I don't think it's about knowing who is your soulmate but feeling like the one you love is your kindred soul. And if he really was my soulmate, our souls must have met for the first time throughout all these lives, assuming they are many. They must have met for the first time to be this happy to spend all this time together. He makes every single day count and I am truly grateful to have him in my life.