Today's Junk Food:

A glimpse of all the joy and laughter their future holds...

This is what happens when you scream for ice cream... LOL

Recipe for Unconditional Love

"Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children."
- Rosaleen Dickson

Love and unconditional love are emotions that come from within, but also emotions that can be learned. I think when people don't understand how someone can "learn to love", they confuse it with physical attraction. Physical attraction is bred from chemistry, pheromones and instincts. Love can be born from physical attraction but also from empathy, and a deep eager for commitment to a person for many different reasons. In some countries, it doesn't even take love to commit to someone. Just the bind by itself can yield strong attachment, loyalty and feelings of devotion. Just like in the classic book The Little Prince written by Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “ It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important".

Once we consciously make the decision to commit to a relationship, however it started, the key to success is to jump into the relationship with both feet in. From there, it becomes our sense of duty that kicks in. Our duty to make the relationship grow and last. Some people walk into a new relationship filled with entitlement rather than a sense of duty. "What can that person bring to me?" rather than "What can I bring to contribute to this relationship?".

A great example of entering into a relationship of unconditional love are adoption love stories:

My friend Geneviève for instance, she is the radiant mother on this dreamy family picture on the Beach (Isn't it amazing how little Simon looks like his adoptive parents?). After going through some hurdles trying to conceive naturally, Geneviève and her boyfriend weighed all their possible options, and the idea of adoption warmed their hearts. They knew that was where they were headed together. They were headed to a nice, warm journey of parenting and would be blessed later with their little Simon, from Colombia.

Like any scenario welcoming a new baby home, they've encountered their share of challenges, but nothing they could not overcome. Love happened right away and yet, they still had to work on bonding with the child. They all had to learn to adjust to this new change, bond and forge a line of trust. It did not take long to become this magnificent, happy family.

It takes very determined people to pursue the entire adoption process until the end along with fitting a perfect love match. They went through a thorough interview process in order to determine if they would be the perfect parents for little Simon. Not the other way around.
They walked into the relationship with a full commitment to love that kid unconditionally. It doesn't matter how the child is, or what he has to bring. They willingly chose and fought to be blessed with the presence of that child in their lives despite the fear of the unknown. And this is how choosing to love someone unconditionally is all about.

Happy National Pie Day!

Today is a special day that is set aside to bake and cook all of your favorite pies! Today is also a day for a special shout out to an amazing birthday girl.

I have made this wonderful new friend. She showed up in my life during crusty lonely days and have brought such nice warm feelings (or filling? :P) in my heart since.

Happy Birthday Cortney! I feel so blessed to have met you. Thank you for your friendship. :)

Bear Claw Cookies

There may be a very cold week-end coming ahead with chances of snow, but this cute overload of mommy polar bear love makes me all warm and fuzzy (they also make me write all weird because they are TOO CUUuuuute!). Cocooning is the word of the week-end and let's all snuggle and stay warm. :)

Whimsical Cupcake :)

"There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. " -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Such creativity from this mommy IT Specialist from Finland. While her daughter is sleeping soundly, she creates a complete new universe out of anything she can find in her house. Astounding creativity! ...(on the side note...does that baby ever sleeps in a crib? :P )

Cold as ice

This is the picture of one of Andy Goldsworthy's greatest masterpiece: his signature arch made of ice. He is one of my favorite artists. He devotes such energy and time to create out of Mother Nature, the most ephemeral piece of Art, and then captures them in photo.

Ice. Beautiful. COLD. From afar, ice is majestic. Ice is part of those beauties that are meant to be admired from a distance. I don't understand cold people. Those who don't seem to care about others and their feelings. I tend to forget to keep my distance with people who are "ice" in my life.
They are intriguing, beautiful, complex but I clearly cannot expect any warmth from them. I tend to forget that. They are only good for chilling, for fun. Nothing serious. I get too close to them and they morph into a drowning game of unsatisfied needs and I find myself all wet with my own tears. This is just a self-reminder to stay away from icy people. Enough skating through awkward situations, and attempting to keep my balance on ice. You can't be friends with ice.

Sweet Treat

My husband called me from his office to tell me this cute story. His coworker is expecting a baby girl in Spring. We are all pretty excited for them. His wife is a nurse and she must be liked a lot. After being discharged from the hospital, one of her patient willingly insisted to stay one or two extra nights so she could crochet a little outfit for the baby. I thought it was such a sweet gesture. Baby stories make me happy in general. ^-^

While waiting for a bun in the oven...

This post is for my pregnant friends. :) Three years ago, when I was expecting, I was reading about anything related to pregnancy and noticed that there was not much clear documentation about what positions were safe or not during pregnancy. Not until my friend sent me this flyer that they gave out at the Verdun Hospital, up in Montreal.

I know some mom-to-be will see this and think "What? Me having sex now with this huge belly? Not interested! I'm way too tired and uncomfortable to even consider it!!". Some would despise intercourse so much they would tell their spouse they can't be active for six months after the delivery.

This post is for those who are not too floored by all the pregnancy sickness and fatigue, and not in a situation where sex isn't recommended by their doctor.

Five great reasons to have sex when you’re pregnant

• Your body is geared up for better, easier sex: increased blood flow to the pelvic area can cause engorgement of the genitals and heighten the sensation
• Sex increases your bond with your partner. You’re heading for a magical, but stressful, time so the closer you are in the run-up to the birth, the better.
• - Orgasm – or just massage – is a great way to relieve tension in the body and soothe aching limbs.
• It helps you prepare for childbirth by keeping your pelvic muscles strong and supple.
  

• - It’s free and it’s fun. What else can you say that about during pregnancy?

  
  

So here are the sexual positions that were described and recommended on that flyer from the hospital that I have scanned to share with you:

For some reasons, Blogger won't let me add captions directly in the photos. Those two illustrations above are the sexual positions that are safe ONLY for the first THREE months.

These other two positions above are to be practiced until up to FIVE months.

These three pictures above are positions that are safe throughout the entire pregnancy and even until the end.

It is inadvisable to practice this last position above throughout the entire pregnancy as the penetration would be too deep.

I hope this document will help some of you. Have fun!

Spoons & Chopsticks

I love nap time. Nap time means "me" time so I can shower, write on my blog, get some work or cleaning done or even better, get some rest. Nap time means resetting the day when I had a cranky toddler in the morning.

Nap time is at its best when I get to nap with my husband. We get all tangled like a pretzel and pass out in a mist of warmth and trust. We do not care who is the big spoon or the little spoon (even though I do love being the little spoon). We never cared about spoons. I know some girls who really make a big deal about the man having to always be the big spoon, meaning he ALWAYS has to be behind, while hugging them. What if their arms fall asleep? Would they rather stay uncomfortable just to preserve this "manly" image (even though no one else is in their bedroom...or shouldn't be...). Does this rule means that if their man turns the other way, ladies are not allowed to hug their man as it would alter their masculinity?

My husband and I aren't spoons. We are chopsticks: side by side, the same size, with equal love and snug from both sides...:P

Sex in the City 2 as bad as pork liver pudding...

Perhaps I need to remember that the movie is called SEX in the city and not LOVE in the city. They surely put a lot of emphasis on sex and dating and all the dating rules, games and deal breakers. After seeing the movie, I was flabbergasted by the lack of any real notion of love and marriage in the entire movie. There were the docile married one, the once sexy but growing into a vulgar menopausal woman, the careerist mother, and the materialistic self-absorbed fashionista one who focuses on sparkles more than on the actual welfare of her marriage. I am relieved I could not nor want to relate to any of the characters. Their case definitely have worsened through the entire series and even though I did not mind them before, this movie really did it for me. It made me want to get rid of my entire Sex in the City DVD box set. I guess I could forgive Carrie Bradshaw (Preston) for being stupid throughout the show, but now that she is actually married to her BIG love of all time, this is how she cherishes her love?
I wonder how many have reacted as strongly as I did...Do people look up to Carrie Bradshaw? Her ideal of love is based on the most stupid, unrealistic Haute Couture Lala-Land of commercial romance. All she seems to care about is how they are perceived by others, and how trendy and chic of a couple they are. They are just like hipsters but in the relationship area and you will find out soon enough how allergic I am to hipsters. People who value avant-garde or coolness or sparky romantic in this case over the real things. For example, when she nags BIG when wanting to relax on the couch and watch some TV. It's not cool to watch TV unless it's a black and white movie. PUH-LEASE!!! Leave the poor guy alone and focus on WHAT TRULY MATTERS!! Hhhhh. Ok, I can feel the taste of liver in my mouth thinking back about the movie. Here's my recommendation: Do not watch it unless you want to learn how to become a useless woman filled with high fashion clothes and no sense of reality...or unless you're just very bored...

The Love Tree Ritual

“Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.”

-Joyce Cary

Love may not grow on trees, but can be witnessed by trees. I have met these adorable love birds who have been taking a photo in front of the same tree since the first year they've been together. This love ritual is such an original and clever idea. They get to capture their love through time and watch their love grow with the tree. How romantic is that?

"To love isn't about having the same needs, but understanding each others needs in order to cater to them." -Davine

"Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it." - Belgicia Howell

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” -Lao Tzu

Chinese Food

After reading this article that appeared on The Wall Street Journal this week with a shocking title such as Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, it made me think about the way I was brought up. It was very odd that such topic would be published on that business oriented journal I thought. I don't think Chinese mothers are "superior" but surely different from the Western mother.

Asian parenting is mainly about sacrificing time, devoting your life to assure your child gets a better life than you had, and this often means not spending fun quality time with your children, hammering the importance of the Academics and teaching discipline, strength and resilience. Anything that takes time away from study time is a waste of time, and parents know what's best for their children.

I was brought up by a very typical Asian mother. She valued skills, because skills are useful. My mother cannot stand useless people or any notion of uselessness. So in addition to having to maintain an outstanding academic record, my mother transmitted me the importance of cooking, family unity and honor, respect to the elders and everything to become a respectable spouse. Those values were always pretty straight forward and clear throughout my education. Even though her ways of teaching me those values seemed harsh and stern back then, I am today, very grateful for everything she has transmitted to me. I wonder though, if there were any other ways she could have transmitted them to me. Would it be so bad if I attended some sleep overs from time to time or took drama class? Does it have to be this painful to become a full grown Asian woman? At least, I knew clearly what my parent's expectations were and always knew that it was because they had high regards of me and knew I was strong enough to cope with the pressure.

Reading this article also made me realize that despite all the disappointments that my mother openly expressed to me in the past (for example, after seeing a "Chinese F"...being a B, she would tell me she should have left me in the jungle while escaping the Communists has she known I would end up letting her down like this), none of them really affected my self-image nor self-esteem. I also never loved nor respected my mother less for that. The Western world is very concerned about their child's psyche while the Easterner parents couldn't care less about that aspect unless their children perform well in school. I wonder how I will bridge those two parenting styles to make it my own...One thing for sure, I do believe learning can be fun, but not all learning HAS to be fun. Academics are crucial but also inner happiness and finding our true passions.

I was discussing this article with a friend from College, and started telling her anecdotes about my mother. Back in high school, that sexually obsessed awkward age, I remember seeing myself in shock by my mother's comments sometimes. So many topics were taboo in my house. Don't ever dare to mention wanting to date boys back then or it would have been a Tsunami on the entire block. They were so many spoken and even louder unspoken subjects, but one of the subject always surprised me: vagina hygiene. As many taboo we had, this one oddly wasn't one. I remember my mother nagging me to go take a shower when we all came back late from a wedding and all I wanted was to collapse in my bed. My mother would put on her battle face and fight me to shower and when capitulating, would say across the entire house (even in front of my family members sometimes) " WELL AT LEAST CLEAN YOUR VAGINA!" . That was the very least I should wash. I thought it was only her who said strange things like this in the open, but laughed so hard I nearly bust a gut when comparing notes with my other Asian girlfriends. Their mother would insist on vagina hygiene the same way! Were yeast infections very common back in the days? Why has it become a cultural thing?

This article was truly interesting as it spoke to me directly. It put a light on many questions I had about my mother and her parenting ways. Thank you Amy Chua for giving me some answers. :)