Love Cake

Granola Bars

When granola bars became more popular and started invading all my friend's lunch boxes, I was probably the only one out there who disliked them. I just didn't understand what was so great about them. They could never satisfy me. If I craved for something sweet, I'd rather eat a candy bar than a granola bar. If I wanted a healthy snack, I'd rather go for an apple or any other fruit. Granola bars are part of this annoying "in between category" that I cannot stand. Not sweet, nor salty, not completely junk nor healthy, not crunchy, nor soft, nor melty or crispy. Just IN BETWEEN. I cannot imagine a day where I would wake up and crave for something that is nothing. Granola bars are too ambivalent for me. I know what I want and most of my cravings are very clearly defined.

Unfortunately, one of my old friends is a granola bar to me. It took me several years to realize she was a granola bar. We labeled ourselves as super friends when we were very young, but never shared anything in common really. She has known me for the longest time, but it does not mean she ever dug me. As another close friend said to me when I was really upset one evening, "Davine, you have many friends who fulfill different roles in your life, but you know your granola friend was never the one to understand and support your aspirations".

This granola bar friend has never been there for me...well, not emotionally there. She would make sure to be there for really important times like when I got married or pregnant since this is what she believes what good friends are for. That is what makes her a decent friend to keep around I guess...She would be there physically, but never in thoughts. She is an awful listener and constantly judged me but I know I can rely on her to be there at my funeral since she shows up at all the most important life events...

She knows nothing about me now and has put me in a box as if she had me all figured out. It seems like I am solely part of her archives, but will never show up in her present or future plans. When we talk, all we do is reminisce about the past, but we clearly do not share anything interesting from our current lives. Like a granola bar, she isn't toxic, or bad for me. But she's not good either and our relationship isn't the healthiest. It is hard to know where to stand with a granola bar friend since she never did anything bad enough to make me want to get her out of my life...but now, I am wondering where I could even fit her into my life.

When I got seriously ill over the summer, instead of listening and empathizing with me, she was too busy correcting my French translation of the disease diagnosis rather than supporting me while I was opening myself to her and crying all the tears out of my body. She never takes anything I say or do seriously. Even the disease itself, where I had to get seven surgeries, she still thought all I had was a little infection. If she doesn't take what I went through seriously, it is clear to me now that she will never change.

Every time I share with her a new passion, or a new project I am tackling, she would interrupt me to say she isn't interested in listening to anything nor reading anything I wrote until it was truly serious and published, for example. I am tempted to tell her, whenever she comes to vent to me about her relationship, that I am not interested in listening to her personal problems until she gets married and not waste my time since it doesn't seem serious...her guy could just walk out of her life anytime, so why bother me with her non serious matters? Why are we even friends if we do not want to be there to support and encourage each other?

In her eyes, I was always too dramatic, too paranoid, too defensive, too emotional. Well, I now look back and understand that I was never too anything. I was just me. She simply appreciated nothing about me nor cared to understand and discover my character. I am now keeping my distances from her. I am tired of her craving for my friendship whenever she gets pregnant. It seems like it is the only time she remembers I exist and suddenly seeks for my comfort. I am sorry but now that I know she is just like any other granola bar, I will stay away from her. That is one thing that at least she knows, is how much I despise granola bars...Do not worry that she will find this post and recognize herself. That would be too great actually. But she's such a wonderful friend [insert sarcasm here] that she has NEVER read any single one of my blog posts.

She is not a bad person, but she is not someone I want to spend more of my loving energy on. Life is too short to waste it one someone who never hit any spot...I don't feel like she deserves my committed friendship because when I love someone, I love with passion. I could never enjoy granola bars with passion. I just can't...